


Eyes of Fire and Ice

by Indrel



Series: Tenebrae et Lux [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Dreams, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Force-Sensitive Hux, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Possessive Hux, Pre-Canon, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Slight Comfort, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Snoke Being a Dick, Tags May Change, Violence, You could say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:32:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indrel/pseuds/Indrel
Summary: When Kylo Ren travels to the Finalizer to become its co-commander he feels a Presence in the Force unlike anything he has ever felt before. It is powerful enough to destroy worlds. But as fast as it appears it disappears. 
Weeks later it suddenly makes a new appearance and this time Kylo is dead bent to find out where it comes from. He is however not prepared for what he finds.
——
Hux has a secret. A secret of galaxy changing proportions.





	1. The first meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I could write a much longer summary to this story but don't want to spoil it , same thing with the tags. I promise that this fic is much more interesting than it might seem at first look. 
> 
> Please have patient with any mistakes, english isn't my first language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could write a much longer summary to this story but don't want to spoil it , same thing with the tags. 
> 
> Please have patient with any mistakes, english isn't my first language.
> 
> Edited 11th november 2017

_Breathe,_ Kylo thought. _Just breathe. Calm down. Do not disappoint your master._

Kylo sat with his legs crossed on the floor in his private room located in the shuttle. The room was full of his personal belongings, for the moment packed in large boxes, ready to be moved. He was deep in meditation and was trying, but failing, to calm his raging feelings.

He was on his way to the _Finalizer_ , by the orders of his master, to share the command of the ship with a certain General Hux. The mere thought of having to share the power with some uptight First Order officer made him unreasonably angry. That didn't exactly make him more willing to cooperate with him. And it didn't help at all that everyone he had heard talk about the general spoke of his great skills and how hardworking he was. If it hadn't been for his masters direct order Kylo just might had killed the general upon first meeting him. As it were he would be forced to comply and play nice or, well, _nicer_.

In his deep state of meditation the Force flooded slowly through his mind and body. The Force made him able to feel the presence of all the other living things in the shuttle. They were little lights against the darkness of space and he could hear all their pathetic thoughts and feel all their pathetic feelings. It disgusted him. Especially after having only been in the presence of his master and the other Knights of Ren for weeks on end. Snoke's power awe-inspiring and the knights' powers were only subordinate to his own. 

When he focused on the pilot's thoughts he was able to determine that the ship still were in hyperspace but that they was coming closer to the _Finalizer._ Kylo took another deep breath and forced himself into a fragile calmness that threatened to break any moment. But for now it held and that would have to be enough for his first meeting with General Hux.

A few minutes later the shuttle made its jump from hyperspace and the _Finalizer_ came into the pilot's sight. At the same moment a Presence in the Force appeared. A Presence as powerful, massive and all consuming as the roaring fires of a sun. The Presence pressed against Kylo's mind and for one excruciating moment of sheer panic it almost destroyed him then and there.

He crouched in fear, ignited his lightsaber and gathered as much of the Force as he could hold. It was a pitiful small amount compared with the Presence. With an effort that made him weak to the core Kylo managed got his defences up. His mental shield only muted the worst of the Presence's brilliancy, but it was enough to make him able to think again.

 _What is that_ , Kylo thought. The Presence was like unlike anything he had ever felt before. Not even in the company of his masters, his former or current. In fact, compared to the Presence, his masters' Force presence was like a candle against the sun. Kylo himself was like a distant star during the day; unnoticeable. And (even though he didn't want to admit it) even Darth Vader would have trembled with fear before the Presence.

Kylo's second thought was: _Run. Turn this ship around right now and return to Snoke._ The fear was paralyzing and made it impossible for him to think rational thoughts. To return to Snoke with his tail between his legs sounded like an excellent plan. Then a vein of anger penetrated the fear in his mind and suddenly he was able to see clearly. He _couldn't_ return to Snoke yet. Not without having examined where the Presence was coming from.

 Fear still made his body tremble and his heartbeat was erratic but all of a sudden was Kylo dead bent on continuing his mission.

The ship continued on its way towards the _Finalizer._ The few people on board prepared for the docking with hurry but without any fear. Kylo was surprised that they weren't running around in a panic or pissing their pants at the feeling of the Presence until he realised that none of the Force dull crewmembers would be able to feel it. Unaware of the huge threat that they faced the crew continued working as if it was a day like any other and in the meanwhile Kylo hag to fight with himself to stay calm.

The ship landed with a slight tremble in one of the many hangars on the Battlecruiser.

Kylo drew a shaky breath, extremely thankful for the mask that covered his frightened face, and rose to his feet. Suddenly he realised that his lightsaber was still blazing and as an afterthought extinguished it.  He straightened his back and held his head high. If he was going towards his doom at least he would do it with pride.

With his heart racing Kylo left his room. In the main room on the shuttle he stopped and waited for the ramp to lower. He was grateful that he was alone for the moment because he still hadn't been able to stop his hands from trembling. When the ramp began moving towards the floor Kylo clenched his hands into fists. With a muffled thud the ramp stopped against the hangar floor and slowly Kylo began walking down it.

The first thing he saw was the large assembly of Stormtroopers and officers standing at attention to greet him with the pomp his rank demanded. At least fifty Stormtroopers, clad in white armour, stood in neat lines before him and in front of them the officers in their dark clothes waited for him to descend. Among the officers stood another stormtrooper but clad in shining silver armour and with a black cape over one shoulder. Kylo felt a flash of satisfaction when he saw the nervous expressions in the officers' faces.

The second thing he saw was the man right across from him. The man couldn't be anyone else than General Hux. The moment he laid his eyes on the general the Presence's power rose to a crescendo. On the defensive Kylo approached the general.

General Hux wore a perfectly tailored, pristine, black First Order uniform with the general insignia on the sleeves. His hair was a burning red colour and immaculately styled. He was a few inches shorter than Kylo but stood with such confidence that he almost seemed a thousand feet tall. Not even Kylo's master managed to look as imposing and confident. The general had a handsome and pale face sprinkled with light freckles. His expression was stern and condescending and without even thinking about it Kylo's face formed a scowl in response.

Then he met the general's eyes. Or rather what would have been his eyes if he had had any. Instead Kylo's gaze met two orbs of burning, all consuming fire. In them Kylo thought that he could see his own doom. An expression of confusion flashed across the general's face and his eyelids closed over the flames. When General Hux opened his eyes again the fire had disappeared. In its place there was a pair of ice cold, blue eyes. Simultaneous the powerful burning Presence in the Force disappeared without a trace. The sudden change made Kylo even more frightened than he had been before.                                       

"Welcome to the _Finalizer,_ Lord Ren", General Hux said with a voice as hard and cold as his unforgiving eyes. It made shivers travel down Kylo's spine. Kylo opened his mouth and tried to speak but not a sound came out of it. His mind was completely blank. Hux's expression changed into one of contempt. "I am General Hux", he continued, stating the obvious, "the commander of the _Finalizer."_

"The co-commander of the _Finalizer",_ left Kylo's mouth before he was able to stop himself. As Hux's eyes grew even colder and harder than before he cursed himself for his carelessness. Even though he minutes before had felt nothing but disdain for the general the powerful Presence in the force had made him more careful. It was not a good idea to be on the general's bad side as long as it could come back. And the memory of burning eyes scared him more than he wanted to admit.

"Yes", General Hux said with a voice so full of hate the officers closest to him backed away in fear. "The co-commander of the _Finalizer."_ He turned abruptly to the officer nearest him, a nervous looking young man with dark hair and normal brown eyes that flinched when Hux's gaze fell upon him. "Lieutenant Mitaka", he barked.

Mitaka paled. "Yes General Hux?" he said with a quivering voice.

"Please show Lord Ren to his quarters so that he can get settled and make sure his personal belongings are brought to them", Hux commanded with a voice nobody, not even Kylo, dared to question.

"Yes General Hux!" Mitaka said and saluted. He almost ran towards Kylo and saluted once more when he stood in front of him. "If you come with me Lord Ren I will show you to your quarters."

Under the security of the mask Kylo rolled his eyes at the lieutenant. "Lead the way", he said and was thankful that the voice modulator made his voice sound dark, dangerous and confident.

Mitaka saluted again and turned on his heal, leading the way out of the hangar. Kylo could feel the general's cold eyes on him as a physical weight until they turned a corner and disappeared out of sight. Kylo released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Then he tried to convince himself that his fear was silly, even laughable. The Presence in the Force was gone. There was no reason for him to be scared any longer. Or at least that's what he tried to tell himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to you can come visit me on my tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


	2. A burn mark on metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Kylo's second week on the Finalizer and he is just beginning to realise that he may be in even greater danger than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the second chapter. Hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I'm thinking about making this a series instead of one long work.
> 
> Edited 12th november 2017

Kylo spent his first week onboard the _Finalizer_ locked into his quarters. He hadn't dared to leave them in fear of alerting the Presence of him being there.

During the week Kylo had meditated in hope of receiving a vision or an understanding through the Force about the Presence. So far noting. The Presence had disappeared without a trace. It was almost as if it had never existed in the first place. And that was impossible. Something as huge and bright as the Presence should have left a track that even the slightest of force-sensitive creatures would have been able to follow. Yet when Kylo meditated and reached out with the Force there was nothing to be found. Not even the slightest tremble in the Force that indicated that something had happened.

The complete disappearance of the Presence was even more unsettling than the Presence itself. It implied that the most powerful Force-presence Kylo had ever encountered could be able to hide in plain sight. So he stayed in his quarters.

That hadn't stopped people from trying to _make_ him leave his quarters.

The first night on the _Finalizer_ had he received an invitation to eat dinner with General Hux, an invitation he had politely declined. Even though it would have been a smart move to get on the General's good side Kylo had not been able to convince himself to go. Especially not since he would have been forced to take of his helmet to eat. And to show the General his frightened face would not have been the best beginning of their co-commandership. He decided that it was better to be seen as impolite then to be seen as scared. And the memory of burning eyes made Kylo shiver. He did not desire to be face to face with them again, not even if they were a more normal ice blue colour.

He still had to eat of course; he was not able to live of the Force itself yet. Kylo solved this by sending the personal droid that had been assigned to him to get food. However every time the droid returned it also brought a message from General Hux or another high-ranking officer. The messages stared out polite but as the week went by they started to turn passive-aggressive. General Hux's messages were on the border to hostile.

And as the topping on the cake of mysterious Force Presences, hostile officers and strange burning eyes, Kylo's quarters was so insanely boring that they were driving him nuts. His personal belongings had been brought onboard, among them his grandfather's helmet, and in the beginning they had been enough to keep him occupied. However there were only so much you could do with old relics of the Dark side and otherwise his quarters were quite boring. They weren't even big enough for him to be able to train with his lightsaber.

Anger and frustration over his failures was pooling up inside of him and combined with the constant fear of the Presence Kylo felt his self control slipping. His fingers itched after grabbing his lightsaber and slashing something to pieces. But the only things in his quarters that he could destroy were things he needed or things he put great value in. Instead the rage was left to fester inside him.

——————

On the seventh day onboard the _Finalizer_ Kylo decided that the threat was over. If the Presence hadn't returned by now it would probably never return. Anyhow he could no longer stand to be in his quarters and the aspect of alerting the Presence of his existence sounded better than spending the rest of his life in these small rooms.

Kylo pulled his black outer robes over his head and fastened them with a wide belt. He put the black helmet with silver streaks over his head and attached it to the neckpiece of his clothes. Lastly he clasped his lightsaber to the side of his belt. Then, with a deep breath, he opened the doors and stepped outside his quarters.

At the sight of him a pair of stormtroopers that had been standing a bit down the hallway from Kylo's quarters came to attention. The anger inside began boiling when Kylo looked at them. It was obvious that they had been placed there by someone in command. Most likely by General Hux.

When Kylo approached one of the stormtroopers he could feel fear beginning to radiate from them. Fear was good. Kylo could work with fear. "Where can I find General Hux?" He asked one of the 'troopers and his voice modulator made the words sound booming and intimidating.

The fear got more pronounced in the man's mind. "On the bridge, Lord Ren", he immediately answered.

Kylo had no idea where the bridge was, not that he would admit that to this 'trooper. He searched the man's mind briefly until a name came up. Their name was usually the most prominent thing in any beings mind. "Lead the way, HX-1072", he barked and the stormtrooper flinched in response.

"Yes, Lord Ren", HX-1072 began walking down the corridor and Kylo followed him as a dark, looming presence at his side.

It took longer than expected to walk to the bridge. But on the other hand the _Finalizer_ was nearly 10,000 feet long. By that perspective the 10 minute walk from his quarters was nothing.

The bridge was a big, dark space with huge windows at the front that showed of the vastness of space. A walkway lead towards the windows and on both sides of it there was a deep semicircle. The semicircles were full of control panels and different displays. Several officers sat behind the consoles and displays. Even more officers stood by the windows. The silver armoured stormtrooper he had seen among the officers on his first day on the ship stood and talked to someone outside of Kylo's line of sight by the big windows. General Hux was not to be seen.

Kylo turned towards the stormtrooper with a snarl, a demand to know were the General where on his tongue, but when he looked over his shoulder there was no one there. The stormtrooper had disappeared without him noticing it! With a growl he turned back towards the bridge. It was no helping it. He would have to speak with one of the officers. 

When Kylo stepped out onto the bridge and the officers there became aware of his presence it fell completely silent except for the sounds emitted by the control panels. And the sound of a conversation from the end of the bridge. The silver stormtrooper was still talking to someone and hadn't notice his presence. _That's it,_ he thought with a growl, his anger finally slashing out. 

Kylo marched up to the silver 'trooper and came to a stop behind them. While he did so he could feel the fear on the bridge spike. "Where is General Hux?" He roared at the 'troopers back as he simultaneously reached towards their mind. His mind ran into a solid wall and he blinked in surprise. Then the stormtrooper turned and finally he could see whom they had been talking to. General Hux.

The General went quiet and slowly turned to face Kylo. For a moment the pair of eyes before Kylo burned like they contained the compressed fires of a sun. Kylo took a step back while his heart beat furiously. Then the General blinked and the eyes were once again ice blue. Kylo wasn't sure if he had imagined it all or if it had actually happened.

"Lord Ren", General Hux said with his controlled, cold voice. "What a pleasure to meet you again. I had almost started to believe that you would spend your entire visit on the _Finalizer_ locked in your quarters."

Kylo blushed furiously under his helmet. _How dared he_ , he thought. He could feel his fingers twitch with the want to ram the General through with his lightsaber. With effort he controlled himself. His Master would be disappointed in him if he killed the General without a good enough motive. _And_ , a little voice whispered inside his head, _you fear his eyes of fire._

"General Hux", Kylo said and tried to get his heartbeat under control. He had never before been more thankful over his helmet as he were in that moment. "I thought that it maybe would be a good idea to discuss the details of our shared commandership in private."

General Hux's ice blue eyes narrowed. It occurred to Kylo that General Hux hated this co-commanders thing as much as he did, if not more. He could use that. "If you wouldn't rather discuss it here, I don't mind."

"We will discuss it in my office", General Hux said sharply and Kylo smiled to himself. He definitely hated it.

"After you then", he said and gestured for the General to lead the way. General Hux huffed but lowered his head slightly towards the silver stormtrooper as a goodbye and walked out of the bridge. His posture was stiff and his steps angry.

He led Kylo down the main corridor outside the bridge for about a minute before he came to a stop before a door identical to the ones they had passed. With a few presses on a screen beside it the door opened.

The office was spacious but bare. The only furniture consisted of a big desk and two chairs, one behind the desk and the other in front of it. There was nothing to give a glimpse into the personal life of the General.

"Please take a seat", General Hux said and gestured towards the chair in front of the desk. He sat down at the other chair and Kylo carefully lowered himself onto the one he had been appointed to. It was as uncomfortable as it looked.

"Now that we are alone maybe you could be so kind as to fill me in on the point of your visit", General Hux said. The words kind and visit was pronounced with extra sharpness as if they cut him in the throat coming out.

"The Supreme Leader wants to make sure his orders are followed accurately. As the Master of the Knights of Ren and his most trusted disciple I have been sent here to make sure of that. I am also here to control that no treacherous actions are taken or thoughts are thought. As a powerful Force-user I will be able to find potential traitors before they can do any harm", Kylo told him.

For every word Kylo uttered Hux's eyes darkened. Then, when he stopped talking, they went ablaze. Hux stood so sudden that the chair he had sat on fell to the floor. At the same time he banged his fist onto the table with a loud thud that resonated of the walls and made Kylo jump in his seat.

"That's it?!" Hux yelled. "Snoke sent you here to read a few minds and control that no one thinks treacherous thoughts?!"

The room crackled with tension and something else. Something that could only be described as the crackling of fire. Kylo could almost hear it. He could almost smell the smoke and taste the ash. He could almost see the light that radiated from it and feel the warmth of the fire on his skin.

Fear, black and suffocating, overtook him as he stared into the burning eyes of the General, eyes that seemed to contain the compressed fire of a sun. Then a different feeling could be felt in the room. The feeling of the Force.

With the Force present Kylo found the strength to speak up and interrupt the General's rampage. "Do you dare question the Supreme Leader?" He asked and the voice modulator made him sound menacing.

The change was sudden and almost more terrifying than everything else. Hux blinked and suddenly his eyes were back to their normal ice blue colour as if they had never changed. The feeling of the fire was gone as well. Hux slowly raised the chair to its legs and sat down again.

"No I do not", he said calmly without a trace of the raging anger from before. Where there had been fire just moments before there was currently only ice. "Was there anything more you wanted to discuss?"

"I'm also to get assistance from you to any mission that I'll undertake, without question", Kylo said carefully. He didn't want to admit it but he was afraid of the unpredictable changes in the General and the power that had radiated from him.

"Alright", Hux said quietly. "If that was all you wanted to speak about I'm afraid I have to ask you to go."

Kylo stared at Hux in shock. It was almost impossible to imagine the man with the burning eyes that he had been only moments before. This side of the General almost seemed weak. Then his gaze fell upon the table and in response his heart jumped and began pounding against his ribcage. What he saw on the table made him sure that it had actually happened. Because on the metal table there was a burn mark in the shape of a human fist.

Kylo got up from the chair and left without another word. He had just realised that the General was far more dangerous than he had thought before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to you can come visit me on my tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


	3. We're all mad here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo decides to read the minds of the bridge's crew only to find something terrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm not entirely sure what happened, this chapter sort of wrote itself. This was not what I had planned would happen in this chapter, though I'm still happy with it. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Edited 13th november 2017

Kylo stood at the entrance to the bridge. Like the last time he had been there the large room was bustling with activity. The consoles and displays were flashing different lights and beeping out messages and the officers who manned them talked with each other and called out updates. It was an organised chaos and at its centre was Hux.

Hux stood by the large viewport with his back against the rest of the room. His posture was as straight as always and he had his hands clasped behind his back. The redness of Hux's hair was the only speck of colour against the blackness of the space before him.

Kylo hesitated but stepped in even though his heart was pounding in his chest. Immediately he had the eyes of every officer in the room directed at him and they grew quiet. But he only cared about one pair of eyes and at the moment they were still turned towards the vastness of space. After a few seconds of tense silence the sounds picked up again and the officers continued as if he weren't there. Though the tense atmosphere in the room made it clear that they were very aware of him. They seemed to be expecting some sort of catastrophe.

Kylo slowly moved to one of the corners of the bridge where he could see everyone in the room without turning. He leaned back against the wall behind him and tried to relax. Anyone studying him wouldn't be able to tell anything about his thoughts from his body language.

If the General asked what he was doing there he had the perfect motive. He would say that he was there to make sure the bridge's crew was loyal to the First Order and that no traitors lured in their midst. Something that wasn't entirely untrue, it just wasn't the whole truth. Kylo _would_ read the minds of the crew but if he found any traitors among them it would only be a plus. The real reason he was there was quite different.

He had debated with himself whatever this was the best option or not but since he couldn't come up with a better plan he had to go with the idea. If Kylo was going to find out more about the General the bridge was the best place to start. The General spent most of his days here, which meant Kylo would be able to study the man closely. And the crew on the bridge would know more about the General than any other crew on the _Finalizer_ , all because of said closeness to the man.

So now he stood here, trying to persuade himself into starting with his self proclaimed mission, but not entirely daring to. Not with the memory of General Hux's burning eyes still fresh in his mind.

_Get a hold of yourself_ , Kylo thought. _Are you the Master of the Knights of Ren or not?_

He breathed deeply before he turned his attention to the nearest officer. A young man stationed at one of the consoles. After another deep breath he dived into the man's mind. Kylo was a little surprised about how easy it was for him to get in but didn't think twice about it. The first thing that surfaced was a name; Thanisson. Petty officer Thanisson. Then Kylo carefully began searching his mind after memories of General Hux's burning eyes. What he found baffled and frightened him.

There were dozens of memories of the General's burning eyes in Thanisson's mind. But that was not what baffled or frightened Kylo. It was the fact that Thanisson was sure that he had imagined them all. In fact he was so sure of it that he had deemed it stupid to talk about and therefore he had never shared his memories with another person.

Kylo immediately withdrew from Thanisson's mind. He could feel sweat running down his back. Kylo sometimes doubted his own memories of the General's eyes but this ... He collected himself and jumped into another officer's mind only to find the same thing there. And he found it over and over again. Every single mind he read had seen the burning eyes of the General dozens of times. But every single one of the officers had thought that it had been nothing but a product of their imagination.

It wasn't until he came to Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka's mind that he noticed something that was even more terrifying. It was the fact that it was not natural. When he studied Mitaka's memories Kylo discovered that they had been altered with. Someone or _something_ had made Mitaka think that his memories were false. It made Kylo's blood run cold. Not the fact that something had altered the officer's memories, which was something he could do without too much effort, but the fact that every single person on the bridge had gotten their memories altered. There had to be at least twenty humans in the room and some of their memories were from the same occasion. Not even the Supreme Leader could alter that many minds at the same time. And even more alarming was the fact that he himself must have gotten his memories altered. He could vividly remember the three times he had seen the General's burning eyes. However even after knowing the truth his mind still tried to make him think that it had made it all up. Only something _extremely_ powerful in the Force would be able to do so.

_The Presence_ , immediately popped up in Kylo's mind, but that thought was to frightening to think of.

Kylo could feel his whole body trembling and tried to control himself. He couldn't let anyone see that he was scared. He searched the room to see if anyone was paying attention to him. The officers sat at their consoles and tried their best to ignore him so he didn't have to worry about them. Even if they saw him trembling they would probably think it was because of anger. And General Hux still stood by the viewport. In fact he had barely moved at all since Kylo entered the room. Sometimes he would yell out orders but otherwise it was like the man had turned into a statue.

Instead of thinking to much about that Kylo dived back into Mitaka's mind in search of more memories that could have been altered. He was a little worried that the Lieutenant would notice his probing until he discovered another frightening thing. Kylo discovered that Mitaka's mind was _used_ to being penetrated. Not only that, but that the natural defences that would have been activated at the feeling of one's mind being attacked had been destroyed. As if something had entered the officer's mind and shattered all resistance. At the same time as it had made it impossible for the person to notice its presence. And then he remembered that he had found the lack of resistance weird in the other officers' minds too.

Kylo immediately withdrew from Mitaka's mind to make sure something like that hadn't happened to his own mind. It was little relief to find nothing out of the ordinary. That was because everything pointed to the fact that if Kylo's mind _had_ been altered he would not be able to notice it himself. Only an outsider would be able to do that.

His body was shaking and his heart was pounding. Sweat ran down his back and the air inside the helmet seemed suffocating. _I have to get out of here_ , went through his mind. Without another thought Kylo came into a sprint and ran straight towards the doors. He didn't care about the surprised gasps of the crew behind him or who were able to see how scared he was. Before he left the bridge he looked over his shoulder one last time. General Hux had turned from the viewport and was staring directly at Kylo. His eyes were two pits of fire. And even while Kylo was staring directly into them his mind tried to make him believe that he only imagined it. That it wasn't real. Something that only made the panic he felt intensify.

Even when he had left the bridge and General Hux's burning eyes far behind him he couldn't stop running. Stormtroopers and officers had to jump out of his way because he barely noticed their existence. Kylo ran through the corridors of the _Finalizer_ as a mad man until he reached his own quarters. He didn't even stop to punch in the pin code. Kylo simply forced the doors open with the Force. Inside and with the doors locked he tore his helmet from his head and fell to his knees, breathing heavily while his body shook.

After a couple of minutes his body stopped shaking and his heart began beating a more normal rhythm. He had calmed down enough to be able to think again.

_I need to tell Snoke,_ was the first thought that popped up in Kylo's mind.

There was a sharp pain in the back of his head as if something had carved into it, but before Kylo had the chance to scream the pain disappeared. In its place a feeling of foolishness flooded through him. With it every single one of his independent thoughts disappeared.

Kylo didn't need to tell Snoke _anything_ because nothing had happened. He had only overreacted. There was nothing to be frightened of. Kylo simply had an overactive imagination. _There was no need to tell the Supreme Leader anything_.

Suddenly Kylo felt calm, numb even, and he began undressing. A nice, warm shower would help clear his mind. And how the Force had he gotten this sweaty? It was disgusting. Whistling a cheerful melody Kylo got into the shower and began cleaning himself.

——————

On the bridge General Armitage Hux smiled to himself. His eyes burned red as if they concealed the compressed fires of a sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to you can come visit me on my tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


	4. Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo goes undercover as Matt the radar technician to learn more about the General.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done and that only three days since the last one, it's almost some kind of record. I've just gotten really inspired to write the last couple of days.
> 
> Edited 16th november 2017

When Kylo woke up the next day he had a horrible headache. His head hurt as if something was pounding on his skull from the inside. At the same time it felt like his mind was full of fog, or maybe cotton, making it hard to think. He groaned and carefully sat up on the bed, clutching his head between his hands. He had a bad taste in his mouth and his throat was dry as a desert. Kylo almost felt hungover even though he knew for sure that he hadn't drunk anything yesterday.

Then some of the memories from the day before slipped through the thick fog in his head. His heart began pounding and sweat dripped down his forehead. The fear cleared his head from the rest of the fog and he was overrun by memories. Kylo immediately became wide awake.

Now he could remember what he had discovered yesterday. That _something_ had meddled with every single mind on the bridge, making them incapable of separating reality from imagination. At the same time it destroyed their mental shields so that it became even easier to control their minds. And _something_ had happened to him. Kylo _knew_ something had happened to his mind yesterday, he just couldn't remember what, no matter how hard he tried. And that made him even more frightened.

He had to do something, anything, or he would become mad for sure. So he got up from his bed on shaky legs that didn't seem to want to carry his weight. On wobbly legs and with his head still pounding Kylo quickly got dressed in his black robes. As soon as he had the helmet over his head he left his quarters, ignoring his droid's insistent beeping that he should eat. His stomach was too upset for food.

Outside the quarters there stood two stormtroopers on guard and when Kylo stepped out into the corridor they immediately became alert. There hadn't been any 'troopers on guard outside his quarters since he had first spoken to the General in his office and it was suspicious that they had appeared again. Kylo didn't believe in coincidences. He had been put under surveillance again after his discoveries yesterday. And like last time the only one that could have ordered it was General Hux.

Kylo turned his back towards the stormtroopers and began walking away from his quarters. He let his feat wander at will and didn't care where they took him as long as it wasn't towards the bridge. And every step he took was mimicked by his shadows; he ignored them as best as he could.

The sound of chatter, shouts and grunts caught his attention and he followed it towards a pair of open doors. Kylo stopped at the entrance to one of the _Finalizer's_ training rooms. It was a huge room with a high ceiling. Thick training mats covered the floor and different equipment for weightlifting and sparring were spread throughout the room. A running track encircled the room. It was filled with stormtroopers and officers alike performing all kinds of different exercises.

After a moment of hesitance he stepped inside. He ignored everyone that stared at him and instead made his way towards one of the corners of the room. His guard positioned themselves by the doors. Kylo stopped at one of the training mats next to the running track. He stood and let himself relax by going through several breathing exercises before bringing his lightsaber to his hand and igniting it. Immediately the fear in the room increased, which made him feel a bit better about himself.

Kylo then began executing his forms, flowing with grace and power over the floor, lightsaber crackling in his hand. He spun and brought his lightsaber down on an imaginary enemy, splitting said made-up enemy in half. He continued swirling, parrying and attacking until his breathing became heavy, his heart speed up and sweat trickled down his body. Unlike how he had felt yesterday and this morning this felt good, felt right. This was the exhaustion of bodily exercise, not the fatigue of fearing for one's life and sanity without being able to do anything about it.

When Kylo let his lightsaber come to a stop his mind felt clearer and sharper. He was once again able to think. His memories from yesterday were still a bit fogged. Especially from the moment he entered his quarters, which he could barely remember at all. However now he could think about what he might be able to do to solve the situation he had all of a sudden found himself in. Kylo extinguished his lightsaber and sat down on the training mat with his legs crossed to begin meditating on his problems.

The first thing he needed was more information. He needed to know exactly how widespread the mind control were, if it was limited to the bridge's crew or if it was much more severe than that. And he needed to investigate this as far away from the General as he could come on the ship and without awakening suspicion.

Bit by bit a plan formed in his mind.

Kylo stood so suddenly that several of the people present jumped in surprise and fear, which made him smirk. Even when he was scared almost out of his mind he managed to scare other people. His smirk disappeared. If only he could manage to scare General Hux. But not including the fact that the General's burning eyes made his stomach clench in fear, Kylo had a feeling that General Hux wasn't scared of anything. Furthermore trying to scare him would probably only end up angering him.

When Kylo moved towards the doors the two stormtroopers following straightened their backs. They had radiated fear from the moment he stepped out of his quarters a few hours ago and that fear had become even stronger after having watched him train. Though that didn't stop them from following him when he left the training room.

Kylo went straight to his quarters and arrived to them in a much shorter time than it had took him to get to the training room. While he entered the pin code the stormtroopers walked a bit further down the corridor and stood to keep watch from there.

Inside he locked the doors before undressing and going into the shower. The warm water on his face and tired body made a foggy memory from the day before rise to his conscious mind. He had showered yesterday. And he had wanted to ... to tell someone ... something. The more Kylo thought about yesterday the more his head hurt and eventually the pain made him give up. The memories would come to him sooner or later, of this he was sure. He could only hope that it would be sooner rather than later.

——————

The lunchroom bristled with the sound of people eating and talking. The big rectangular room was full of tables and benches and almost every seat was taken by stormtroopers or various technicians. There were a few lower ranking officers in the lunchroom. They sat at their own table. The rest of the crew on the _Finalizer_ mostly avoided the officers if possible and the officers saw it below themselves to talk with anyone else unless if it were to give a command. The few officers had solemn looks on their faces. Every day a new group got assigned to eat with the personnel and they all hated it. They preferred to eat in one of the officers' private lunchrooms or in their offices if they had one. Sometimes laughter or giggles would erupt from one of the tables with stormtroopers and technicians. All in all there was a happy, light atmosphere in the room. Kylo hated it.

He sat on one of the many benches with a stormtrooper on one side and some technician on the other. The stormtrooper weren't wearing their helmet and was chatting happily with the other 'troopers at the table. The technician had tried to talk with Kylo but after having stared threatening on them they had stopped and was now quietly eating their food while they tried to ignore Kylo. Kylo tried to do the same and focus on the plate of bland food before him, but not entirely being able to do so.

His grey radar technician uniform with its neon-orange vest itched. The blond wig made his head uncomfortable hot and the glasses pinched the bridge of his nose. That was not the worst thing though. The worst thing was that his face was unbearable bare and vulnerable. Anyone who wanted could look upon his face. The fact that nobody knew who he really was brought him little comfort.

However this was the best plan he had come up with. As Matt the radar technician he could learn more about the General without awakening suspicion. No one batted another eye on yet another technician eating in the lunchroom. No one would question why he was on the ship. Because of that he could do what he needed to do while sitting calmly on the bench, eating.

Kylo glanced around the room one last time and since no one was paying any attention to him he felt confident in his mission. He took a deep breath. It was time to begin.

Kylo concentrated on the stormtrooper in front of him and carefully reached out with his mind. He didn't care about the numbers that should have revealed the man's identity or about any puny thoughts that crossed his mind. What he searched for could be found on the very surface of any sentient creatures mind. And as Kylo had feared he found what he was searching for. Or rather he didn’t find it.

It was not as pronounced as in the crew's minds but it was there. The mind had the same openness to it, the same inability to fight against Kylo's intrusion. And like the officers on the bridge's minds they were used to being penetrated. The mental shields that should have been there had utterly been destroyed. It made it easy for Kylo to slip into the stormtroopers mind and search his memories after any altered ones. Kylo only found one, which actually was one more than he had expected. The memory was of the General's burning eyes and the stormtrooper had seen them during some inspection.

He left the stormtroopers mind and slid into the mind of the technician on his left instead. It was the same thing there. Slowly Kylo went through the minds of every person around the table and all of them lacked their mental shields. A few of them also had altered memories. One of them, a technician that often worked on the bridge, had almost as many altered memories of the General's burning eyes as the officers that also worked there had.

Kylo's hands felt sweaty against the cutlery. Already the fact that all of the officers on the bridge had weakened minds and altered memories was frightening. But if the person or thing doing this on the same time managed to change hundreds of regular workers' minds it meant that Kylo was dealing with something seriously dangerous and extremely powerful. The only thing he had ever encountered with enough power to do this was the Presence.  

Next he turned his attention towards the officers' table. He chose a pudgy man with dark hair as his next target. When Kylo entered his mind he found the same weakness and more altered memories there. Most of the memories were of the burning eyes but there were some other suspicious memories as well that Kylo thought could have been altered.  And ... and something more. Kylo concentrated on the strange thing he had come across and suddenly a new, frightening realisation came to him. The officer respected and feared the General for natural reasons. General Hux was a man deserving of respect and fear. What wasn't natural was the almost blind devotion the man felt towards the General. A devotion that caused the man to accept every single command General Hux uttered and _didn't_ utter without question. The devotion felt as forced as the openness of the man's mind.

_At least the stormtroopers don't have the same ..._ Kylo's mouth became dry when realisation hit him.

He immediately dived back into the mind of the 'trooper next to him. How could he have been so stupid!? Of all the individuals on the _Finalizer_ the stormtroopers would be the ones easiest influenced by another mind. They were after all conditioned to follow orders blindly. And when he searched deeper into the 'trooper's mind he found it. The 'trooper had been programmed from birth to be loyal not to the First Order but to General Hux.

Kylo withdrew from the stormtroopers' mind and turned to the next one. He found the same thing there. And in the next stormtrooper's mind and in the next. Every single mind in the lunchroom – stormtrooper, technician or officer – had the same weakness and the same loyalty towards General Hux programmed in them.

The metal fork snapped in half in his hand when he clenched his fist. Kylo wasn't even aware of the pain the broken metal caused when it dug into the palm of his hand nor of the blood that slowly began dripping from his fist. He needed to think. Without a second thought he rose from his seat on the bench with such speed that the people around him flinched back in fear. Of course that could have been because of the expression of utter terror on Kylo's face. Before anyone could react on his sudden change in behaviour Kylo had stormed out of the lunchroom. He dived into the first empty room he could find, which happened to be a storage closet.

The feelings that tumbled inside him needed to have their outlet. Without thinking about it Kylo opened one of the vest's many pockets and from it he pulled out his lightsaber. When it came to life it bathed the storage closet in a deep red colour that made it seem like the walls was bleeding. He began swinging it around himself without any of the grace he had when he practised. This was just mindless destruction. Sparks flew around him and the lightsaber hummed in his hand. He didn't care though; he only cared about letting the feelings out.

 A couple of minutes later the room was utterly destroyed and Kylo had calmed down enough to stop. He extinguished his lightsaber and put it back in its pocket. The light from the burning walls was enough to make it possible to see. Then he sat down on the only surface in the room he hadn't destroyed; an upside-down bucket. His mind felt a bit clearer now.

Kylo thought about everything he knew about the General's background. About his upbringing on the planet Arkanis. About his time in the Academy and that he had left it top of his class. He remembered reading that General Hux was the son of someone named Commandant Hux. And that Commandant Hux had been the one that created the stormtrooper program, which his son, General Hux, had later developed.

_Developed_ , Kylo thought. _Or changed to match his personal agenda?_

Dread gathered in his stomach. It was possible that every single stormtrooper in the First Order had been conditioned into being completely loyal to the General. And that that loyalty had been enhanced by the mysterious force at work on the _Finalizer._ A force that weren't satisfied with just the stormtroopers but also targeted the officers and all other crew on the ship.

Kylo closed his eyes and concentrated on the Force, feeling it flow through him, strengthening him and giving him a semblance of stability. He reached out with his mind towards the lunchroom. There he examined all of the minds he hadn't had time for before he stormed out of there. Afterwards he continued with the ones he could reach outside the lunchroom. In every single mind Kylo examined he found the same destroyed mental shields and blind devotion towards the General.

When Kylo opened his eyes again he found only darkness around him; the fires had extinguished themselves. Kylo was not scared; he was beyond fear at this point. He had just realised that at a word from the General every single person on the _Finalizer_ could and _would_ turn against him. Kylo might be a powerful Force-user but not even he would be able to fight his way through thousands of people willing to do whatever needed to stop him. And if you added the Thing that could enter minds without breaking a sweat he was chanceless.

All of a sudden he was sprinting out from the storage closet in a mad dash. He ran into people and even into the walls but that didn't slow him down in the slightest. The most primal part of his brain had taken control of his body and it told him to fight or flight. With the fight option out of the question his body did the only thing it could do; it fled. And on a spaceship the only way out was through a hangar.

Kylo ran and ran. For every step he took the hangar came closer. The exhaustion in his limbs was distant and the burn in his lungs insignificant compared the huge adrenaline rush that streamed through his body and the fear that fuelled it. He turned a corner and there it was. The hangar. And at the other end of it was his shuttle. He scrambled his remaining strength and made a blind run for it. But he never made it.

Suddenly he bumped into something, something immobile yet soft. Kylo bounced back from the solid mass he had ran into and fell headlong to the floor. The impact sent pain through his body. Dazzled from the crash he looked up. Into the burning eyes of General Hux.

Kylo couldn't breath. He couldn't feel his lungs or his heart or any other part of his body. Everything was rapidly turning black. Everything except for the burning eyes of the General that stared down at him, that made his body burn and his mind melt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is almost completely done. At first it was meant to be part of this chapter but I decided to split it. So instead of one extremely long chapter there will be a long chapter and a shorter chapter. 
> 
> The next chapter will be partly from Hux's POV, so you have that to look forward to. Though it will be somewhat less angsty than this chapter, I felt too sorry for Kylo and wanted to make it a little bit better for him. 
> 
>  
> 
> As always you can find me at my Tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


	5. Heart of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is on a inspection of his ship when someone runs into him. What nobody knows is that this collision is the beginning of something bigger. 
> 
> This chapter begins shortly before the last one ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the promised chapter from Hux's POV. It was super hard to write because I didn't want to reveal too much at the same time as I wanted to show off Hux's powers a little bit more. It was also super hard to get the right feeling in this chapter. The other ones had this undertone of fear that I wanted to continue, but Hux doesn't fear anything so I had to play with other people's feelings instead. So I wrote it and rewrote it lots of times. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Un-betad.
> 
> Edited 18th november 2017

Hux walked down one of the corridors on his ship. His back was as ramrod straight as it always was, his hands were clasped at the small of his back and he walked with the confidence of an Emperor walking through his citadel. His face was collected into a stern mask that didn't reveal any of his true emotions and his eyes were icy blue. Everything about him screamed of power.

Every inch that he saw made him beam with pride. The _Finalizer_ was _his_ ship, his most cherished possession. He would be damned if it was anything other than perfect. And more importantly; anything other than _his._  

He had hated Ren from the moment he stepped onboard. No, even earlier than that. He had hated him from the moment he learned that they were supposed to share the command of the _Finalizer_. Hux had worked his entire life to earn the title General and the right to command the _Finalizer,_ one of the greatest ships of the First Order. Ren on the other hand had gotten the position handed to him. That _creature_ wouldn't ruin this for him.

Merely thinking about Ren made his inside _burn_. The fire expanded from his heart and threatened to wrench itself from his control so he hurried to throttle it together with his hatred before he lost control of it. It was best to stay ice cold and composed today.

Though Hux was a bit concerned about where the knight had disappeared too. No one had seen him in days. The last time Hux had seen him was when he was on the bridge a few days prior and he had only ordered the stormtroopers to guard his doors the day after. Now he regretted withdrawing them from guarding Ren. Hux was a bit worried that Ren was of destroying some part of his ship and that word of it just hadn't reached him yet. If it turned out that that was true then he probably wouldn't be able to stop the fire inside from breaking free. Just thinking about it made his blood boil.  

With a bit of effort Hux chased Ren from his thoughts. He had better things to think about than that nuisance. Such as the inspection. And he needed to stay focused.

Hux was on one of his weekly inspections of the ship. Each week he visited a predetermined area of it to make sure everything was going smoothly. Sometimes he would also make surprise inspections to control that everything was in order even when he wasn't expected. He even held undercover inspection from time to time during which he could control his ship anonymously. This week it was time to inspect hangar C-2 and surrounding rooms such as stormtrooper barracks, common areas and meeting rooms.

Chief Petty Officer Unamo walked beside him with a datapad in hand, ready to write down Hux's comments. She had an impeccable posture but walked without Hux's confidence. Her face was slightly pale. She nurtured a healthy fear of him and was nervous over his proximity. When the inspection was over she would be the one to deliver Hux's annotations to the superior officer responsible of the area. Said officer was now forced to sit in their office while they waited for Hux to finish. Hux smirked when he thought about how nervous the officer must be, as they should be. If something weren't up to Hux's standards then they would be punished. 

All in all Hux was pleased with what he had seen so far. The stormtroopers were in shape and as obedient as ever and the rooms he had visited were spotless. Though several of the lunchrooms in the area had been full of people eating and he had nurtured no desire to get close to them and had therefore skipped them today. This meant that it was only the hangar left to inspect.

Hux strode into the hangar with absolute confidence, followed by the pale Unamo. The huge space was bursting with activity. TIE-fighters lined the leaning walls and more were on their way in from space. Repair droids and technicians were examining some of the TIE fighters and several pilots were preparing to take their ships out to train. A few cargo ships were being unloaded and another one was on its way out from the hangar towards a nearby friendly planet to transport more necessities to the _Finalizer._

 When Hux and Unamo passed any of the personnel in the hangar they immediately stopped whatever they had been doing and saluted him. He responded by nodding in approval and the person or persons in question went back to work. They knew that Hux hated idleness. Almost as much as he hated Kylo Ren.

_Stop thinking about him,_ Hux reprimanded himself and quenched the fire that had begun to stir again inside of him.

Hux walked slowly around the room, sometimes coming to a halt to scrutinise something in more detail. He especially made sure to take a closer look on the TIE-fighters. They were after all a crucial part of the _Finalizer's_ defence. Everything seemed to be in perfect order. The superior officer would receive his praise, something he didn't lightly distribute; you had to earn it to receive it.

Although there was one ship in the hangar that wasn't a TIE-fighter that still caught and held his attention. And that was the ship Kylo Ren had arrived in. Hux had not gotten the chance to take a closer look on it before, but now when he did have the chance he would not waste the opportunity to do so.

Hux made his way toward the big, dark shuttle without letting his eyes stray from it for a second. His mind was completely focused on the shuttle. However before he could reach it something made impact with his back. He almost tumbled over from the forceful collision and it was only by strength of will he managed to stay upright. The fire inside of him that had been burning idly during the inspection awoke with a roar. It came to life so sudden and was so intense that he couldn't suppress it. Instead he could feel it rising to his eyes, turning them into two pits of roaring fire. His whole body burned as during a harsh fever.

With his eyes still aflame Hux turned to see what unfortunate soul had crashed into him. The fire inside of him screamed that he should punish whoever had had the insolence to touch him. But when he saw the one that had collided with him all such thoughts were silenced.

A man, maybe a couple of years younger than Hux, lay on the floor before him. The man seemed confused and a bit dizzy from the impact with Hux's back. Slowly he raised his head to stare up at Hux with frightened, dark brown eyes. When Hux's burning eyes met his Hux could feel panic and pain radiate from him. Then the big, dark brown eyes rolled backwards into the man's head and his entire body went limp. He had fainted.

The anger that burned within Hux immediately died out. Confusion and curiosity took its place. The fire in his eyes extinguished itself.

The man before him was dressed in a radar technician's grey uniform and neon-orange vest. He had curly, blond hair and a pair of big, dorky looking glasses. He had a bold nose and big ears, though those were offset by his plush lips and doe-eyes. All added together he was rather attractive. The man had a vulnerable and youthful face that didn't entirely match with the muscular body that hid beneath the uniform. Now that he was unconscious the fear had disappeared from his face and instead had a peaceful expression.

The face was alien to Hux and that was impossible. Hux knew every face on the _Finalizer_ and the name attached to it _._ He always made sure to learn the face and name of every new arrival on the ship, no matter how low in rank or how seemingly unimportant they were. It was a principle of his. In fact it was only one face upon the _Finalizer_ that he didn't know and that was the face of Kylo Ren... Hux's train of thought came to an abrupt stop before accelerating. _Could it be?_

Without caring about the people that were staring at them he crouched beside the man. Hux carefully patted down the man in search of ... Yes, there it was. In one of the orange vest's pockets he could feel the outline of Kylo Ren's lightsaber.

_So_ this _was the notorious Master of the Knights of Ren,_ Hux thought. _I thought that the helmet was hiding something deformed and monstrous. Not_ this _. He's much younger than I expected and looks much more like a frightened child than I thought he would. And he is much more handsome than I could ever have imagined._

"Sir?" Unamo asked from behind him, abruptly bringing him back to reality.

"The inspection is over", Hux said with a tone that was a bit too sharp.

"Of course, General", Unamo immediately replied and saluted him. She didn't linger in the hangar, she knew better than that. She knew of the anger questioning him brought, and the pain that followed. Subconsciously at least. Instead Unamo hurried out of the hangar as fast as her legs could carry her without breaking into a sprint.

Unfortunately to some of the other people in the hangar they didn't know this. Instead some of them abandoned their workstations and came closer. They whispered among themselves and stared at Hux and Ren. A bolt of irritation went through Hux at their willingness to leave their work only for something minor as a man fainting. Their approach also ignited a seed of anger inside of him and even a bit of protectiveness over the knight. The hate he had felt for the last couple of weeks had disappeared the instance Hux saw Ren's face.

Then one of the onlookers, a pilot, stepped even closer to them. Too close for Hux's liking. And to add to it the man stared at Kylo Ren's exposed face with a bit too much interest. Hux immediately saw red.

_Mine,_ passed through Hux's mind, _he's mine._

The burning seed blossomed into a raging fire inside of him and this time he didn't try to stop it. It came from the place where his heart should have been and it burned white-hot. The fire extended throughout his body. It travelled up his throat and into his head and forced its way out through his eyes. Under the many layers of cloth he wore the rest of his body burned feverishly. His fire-red hair fought against the products in it and won. It moved on his head like it too had been made of fire. Even his mind burned.

Then something else stirred in his chest. Something restless and powerful. It was the fire and It was not the fire. It threatened to burn him from the inside out and demanded to be let free. It had been too long since he had let It out, It _needed_ to be let out, but he couldn't let It free just yet. To extinguish It was almost impossible and extremely painful but he managed to do it. Immediately the world seemed darker.

"What are you staring at?" Hux roared at the people around him with a voice that rang in the hangar and echoed from its walls. Every single person in the hangar came to a halt and turned to stare at him, which only made him angrier. The air around him shimmered from the heat of his body. He lashed out with his hand towards the people standing around him and a wave of fire spread from him. At the same time his mind attacked theirs and spread a burning pain in their minds. "Leave us!"

The screams of pain sounded like the sweetest of music and the panic in the air tasted delicious. Every single person in the hangar turned tail and fled. The fire followed them and the slowest ones had a tail of fire in their hair or clothes. Nevertheless they were the lucky ones. They wouldn't even remember the incidence and their burns would heal. But there was one person that never made it out of the hangar. That person was the pilot that had came too close to Hux and Kylo.

He stood frozen in the hangar, unable to move. He stood on the floor surrounded by a ring of fire and fought against invisible bonds holding him in place. Hux moved towards him with all the grace and menace of a hunting predator. His eyes were ablaze and when he smiled fire burst out of his open mouth. Hux closed the distance between them in a few long strides.

"He's mine", Hux growled and every word was emphasized by a burst of fire. Hux removed one of his gloves and stroked a finger down the pilot's cheek. The man winced in pain at the touch. "He's mine and you won't come near him again."

"I-I won't", the man stammered, his eyes almost comically wide. He was extremely pale and sweat ran down his face. Hux recognised his face and knew the man's name as he did everyone else's on the ship but was already beginning to destroy all his knowledge of the man except for the memories of this moment. Nothing else about the man mattered anymore.

"I know you won't", Hux hissed and smiled predatory.

The finger against the man's cheek began to burn and he screamed in pain. The fire spread over the man's face and burned it to a crisp in a moment. However the man did not die, not yet. Hux did not let him die. First he would feel every single cell of his body burn to ash. Then he could die. The man continued to scream, and his screams rang in the hangar for several long minutes before being cut of when the vocal cords burned to ash. Then he continued screaming in his mind until there was nothing left of him but a pile of ash on the floor. Even his bones had burned in the immense heat.

Hux smiled once more and fire burst out of his mouth and eyes. _Mine._

Hux glanced around the room. The fire had spread through the room and had burned the walls completely bare. Smoke lay thick in the air and fire was still clinging to the floor and walls. Every single TIE-fighter and cargo ship had disappeared in the fire. The only ship left unharmed was Kylo Ren's massive, dark shuttle. It stood in the hangar surrounded by fire and smoke but neither of them had even come close to it. Everything else had turned into ashes. The room was a landscape of fire and beauty. And Hux stood in its midst.

After another burning glare around the hangar Hux forced the fire back to his body. The room immediately stopped burning and the only thing left of the fire was the smoke in the air and the piles of ash on the floor. Then Hux forced the fire back even further. His eyes stopped burning, his hair came to a rest and his body returned to its normal temperature. Hux forced the fire all the way back to his heart. Immediately the world seemed a little less beautiful, a little less brilliant and light. He put on his glove again.

Then he turned his attention back towards the unmoving form of Kylo Ren. Like his ship the fire and smoke hadn't come close to him and he rested peacefully on the floor. Hux studied Kylo intensively. In his unconscious state the shields that usually guarded Kylo's mind was gone. Without it his mind laid bare before Hux, he only had to reach out and take it. Hux slowly reached out towards Kylo, careful not to harm him, until their minds touched. Suddenly he saw the knight in a different light.

Now for the first time Hux could see the fire, the light inside of Kylo where he had only seen darkness before. It had been hidden in his heart all along, almost in the same way as Hux's own. It was a fire to match his own. The light shone weakly but steady, in constant war with the darkness surrounding it. The darkness tried to quench it, too suffocate it. It wanted to get rid of the last of the light inside of him and Kylo had encouraged it, even helped it at the best of his abilities. He too wanted to get rid of the light. That was why Hux hadn't been able to see it before. Kylo had hidden it from the entire world. However now he could see it.

The fire inside of Kylo called to him, pulled him closer. Hux let his own fire come to life again. Though this time it wasn't an inferno, it was rather like the warmth from a sun a sweet summer day. Hux's fire gently touched Kylo's and he gave it some of his strength. It immediately began burning brighter. Now it was strong enough to be able to fight back against the darkness.

Hux smiled to himself. _Mine now. Mine forever._

Slowly the fire retreated and returned to Hux heart. It was first then that he became aware that they still were in the smoke and ash filled hangar. After a moment of deliberating with himself he came to a decision. Hux carefully picked Kylo Ren up from the hangar floor and carried him out of the destroyed room. On his way out Hux made a sweeping gesture with his hand and the ash pile that once had been a person was sent out into space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be from Kylo's POV and a lot shorter, though it is almost completely done so it will probably be posted in a few days. After that it will only be one or two more chapters before the big reveal. Then next work in this series will be posted. Yepp that's right, this is going to be a series. 
> 
> I changed the rating for this chapter because I thought there was a rather explicit scene in it.
> 
> If anyone would like to you can come visit me on my tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


	6. The dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place a few hours after the former one. It is from Kylo's POV.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Edited 18th november 2017

Kylo was lying on his back in the snow. The coldness seeped through the layers in his robes to his very core and he shivered weakly. Tall and dark trees towered over him. The ground grumbled and groaned under him as it fell apart. Only a few meters away from him there was a raft in the ground from where fire was launched high into the air.

Kylo's body was broken. Blood stained his clothes and the white snow under him from a wound in his side. His face, shoulder and leg burned after the lightsaber cuts. He couldn't move. His body was too broken to move and he knew that he would die here. Either by blood loss, by being burned to death by the fire bursting out from the imploding planet or by the cold. It was only a matter of which came first. And he couldn't do anything to change his fate.

He had failed. The only thing he could do now was to die, just as he had promised he would.

His line of sight decreased as darkness overtook it. He couldn't hear anything anymore, not even the collapse of the planet. He couldn't feel the cold from the snow or the heat from the fires anymore. And the warmth in his heart slowly died out until only darkness was left. There had been a time when he had wished for that to happen, when he had been young and foolish. But now he only wanted it back. However it was hard to think at all now and soon his sorrow over the things he had lost disappeared into the darkness. Darkness was the only thing that remained.

Then in the darkness he heard a voice whisper to him. _Wake up_. It echoed to him from the depths of the darkness and slowly began driving it away from him. Kylo would have recognised that voice from anywhere, but he couldn't understand how it was possible for him to hear it. He knew that he was dead and that the voice weren't. That it was impossible didn't change the fact that the voice made the extinguished fires in his heart come to life again. The light in his heart burned brighter and stronger than it had ever done before.

_Wake up this instant, Kylo_ , the voice demanded and it almost sounded angry, but beneath the anger Kylo could hear fear and desperation. Then he felt a hand on his unharmed shoulder. The touch burned like fire.

Kylo bolted upright in his bed. His heart pounded frantically and he was covered in cold sweat. His head hurt and so did his shoulder and his body shook as panic flowed through it. The dream felt more real than the room around him and he still felt the pain in his body from the wounds he had sustained in it. And there was a new warmth in his heart.

Then he heard a sound from his right and turned towards it without thinking. General Hux stood next to the bed and stared down at him.

Kylo recoiled so forcefully that he fell off the bed. The impact with the floor made him lose his breath. But at the same time the pain from it cleared his mind from the last tendrils of the dream.

He hurriedly sat up on the floor and crawled away from the bed on his butt until he hit the wall. Kylo studied his surroundings and was surprised to recognise his own quarters. He was in his bedroom. As he looked around the room he couldn't help but notice that the blond wig and big glasses he had been wearing the day before sat on the bedside table. The radar technician uniform had been neatly folded and placed on a chair in the bedroom. However the most worrying thing was that his lightsaber was nowhere to be seen.

Kylo was in his bedroom but he had no memory of how he had gotten there. The last thing he remembered were the hangar and General Hux's burning eyes...

That though immediately brought his attention back to the General.

General Hux hadn't moved since Kylo first noticed him. His black uniform was in perfect order and not a single strand of his red hair was out of place. He stood with his back as rigid as ever and his face was a controlled mask of calm. His eyes were blue. And he was holding Kylo's lightsaber.

At the sight of Kylo sitting on the floor beside the bed he only raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow slightly. "Are you okay?" Hux asked, voice calm and soft but with an inkling of worry in it.

Kylo hurried to get on his feat. He swayed a bit where he stood and leaned against the wall to get support. "Y-yes", Kylo stuttered. His voice was hoarse from the panic that still made his heart beat in a rapid pace. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could.

"Are you sure?" Hux questioned carefully. "You were moving in your sleep and mumbling to yourself."

"I'm sure", Kylo lied, as if he would tell _him_ any different. "It was just a dream."

"Okay then", Hux agreed but without conviction.

The two men stared at each other for a moment. Blue eyes met brown and Kylo was the first to avert his gaze. Even when they were blue they contained a raw, unconcealed power that made Kylo uncomfortable. 

"How did I get here?" Kylo asked after a tense minute.

"After you ran into me in the hangar you blacked out and I thought that it would be best to take you back to your quarters", Hux explained. He sounded so certain and confident that Kylo almost believed him. Almost.

"How did you know it was me?" Kylo questioned.

"What do you mean?" Hux asked with honest confusion written over his face. Or it at least _seemed_ honest. His eyes didn't change the slightest.

"You have never seen my face before and I was dressed as a radar technician. How did you know it was _me_?" Kylo asked with more force.

"Oh", Hux breathed as he understood. "Well, I _didn't_ know it was you. Not until I found _this",_ Hux explained and held up the lightsaber. "The moment I found it in one of the vest pockets I knew it was you."

Kylo could almost believe him. He _wanted_ to believe him. Hux's explanation was much less frightening than any of the ones his mind came up with. One's own imagination could be more frightening than reality. "Give it to me", he snapped and held a hand out for the lightsaber.

Hux hesitated for a second. "Please don't stab me with it", he pleaded. But he didn't sound scared of the thought of being rammed through by a lightsaber. He rather sounded like it only would be a minor inconvenience. Then he stepped around the bed and handed Kylo the 'saber. The moment it came into reach Kylo snatched it from Hux. With it in his hand he felt a little more secure. Even in spite of the fact that Hux didn't seem concerned about it.

"You are shaking", Hux pointed out and stepped away from Kylo. He returned to the other side of the bed. "Maybe you should put on some clothes."

It wasn't until Hux comment that Kylo became aware that he indeed was shivering. Though what Hux hopefully didn't understand was that it wasn't because of coldness or sickness. It was because of fear. Then the rest of Hux's words sunk in and he looked down on himself. He was as naked as the day he had been born.

An undignified yelp left his mouth and he straight up dove back under the blankets to conceal himself. His cheeks burned with embarrassment and he hid his face in his hands. The fact that Hux must have been the one to undress him from the beginning only made it worse. He had been so careful to not let anyone see his face and now his main rival and biggest threat on the ship had seen him completely naked and vulnerable. With the blanket around him Kylo at least felt little less exposed and a little bit more secure. He knew however that it was only an illusion. As long as General Hux was in the same room as him he wouldn't be safe.

Hux raised an eyebrow at Kylo's reaction but thankfully didn't say anything. His face was completely calm and didn't reveal anything but when Kylo gazed up at him through his hands he thought that Hux's eyes maybe was a little bit less cold. Though Kylo was probably only imagining it.

"There, now I won't get cold", Kylo said with what he hoped was a steady voice and lowered his hands. His cheeks still felt too hot but it would be worse for his image to hide behind his hands than to show off a slight blush. Kylo could have given his right arm for his helmet and robes right now.

"I guess so", Hux said expressionlessly but here was a suspicious twinkle in his eyes. Then he turned his back to Kylo and began walking out of the bedroom. However he had only taken a few steps before he stopped and turned back towards Kylo. "I have to ask you something."

"Then ask", Kylo said, even though he had dreaded this moment. His heart began beating even harsher than before and under the blankets he could feel sweat falling down his back.

"Why a radar technician?" Hux asked with a perplexed look on his face.

"Oh", Kylo breathed in relief. He had thought that Hux would ask him about why he had run like a madman through the _Finalizer._ He would not have been able to explain that it was Hux himself he had ran from. "It was the first uniform I was able to get my hands on." Then another bolt of fear went through him when he realised that maybe Hux would ask him _why_ he had dressed like a radar technician. If Hux ever learn that it had been to spy on him...

Hux nodded as if that made all the sense in the world and then turned away again without asking anything else. But before he could leave the bedroom Kylo felt the strong need to tell him something.

"The storage closet next to lunchroom C-14 need reparation", Kylo quietly admitted.

"That has already been taken care of", Hux said over his shoulder. Mirth glimmered in blue eyes that suddenly seemed almost warm. Then he finally left Kylo alone. A moment later he could hear the main door to his quarters open and close.

Kylo was at last able to breathe again. As always the encounter with Hux had made him fear for his life. However this time had felt somewhat different from the previous encounters. Less threatening and more comforting. The biggest difference had been Hux himself. There hadn't been a trace of fire in his eyes, only warmth in blue eyes. Furthermore he had spoken with softness in his voice where it had only been sharp edges and anger before. Hux hadn't been the General, instead had he been an ordinary man. He was still worthy of respect, but maybe, just maybe, Kylo didn't have to fear him.

That didn't mean that the fear was even close to disappearing. But now it was mixed with curiosity and an odd warm feeling in his chest. A feeling he hadn't felt in years. A feeling he hadn't felt since he had been a boy, since he had been someone else.

A voice suddenly spoke in his mind, a voice that didn't belong to him. A voice that burned him at the same time as it soothed and warmed him. _Mine._

_Yours,_ Kylo agreed, without knowing what he agreed to or even why he agreed at all. All he knew was that the agreement made the warmth in his chest burn a little warmer and stronger. And that was somehow enough to erase any doubt he could have felt.

The encounter with Hux had made Kylo forget the dream, even when his body still shook from the fear it had created. Maybe if it had been remembered some of the things that would eventually happen could have been averted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first the dream were not supposed to be a part of this chapter. But then I saw the prompts for angst november and that day 8 was visions/dreams so I decided to add it. So you could say that this is my participation in angst november. The dream actually fits well with the rest of the chapter so I'm glad I added it. Though it is a little funny that the chapter with an actual angst prompt is the one with the least angst so far in this work.
> 
>  
> 
> When I thought about what I want to happen next in this fic I came to the conclusion that the first part of this series are going to be 10 chapters long. Which means there are three more chapters until the reveal. 
> 
> As always if anyone would like to you can come visit me on my tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


	7. A meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long before posting this. I just didn't get satisfied with this chapter. I'm still not completely satisfied with it but it will have to do. I hope you still like it.
> 
> Edited 21th november 2017

Kylo stood in one of the corners of the _Finalizer's_ bridge, overlooking the organised chaos inside. Consoles was beeping and blinking. Officers were hurrying around the room and yelling updates to each other.

Amongst it all stood Hux like the eye of the storm, calm but terrifying. His posture was perfect and his hands clasped behind his back, his hair a bright speck of colour. He stood by the huge transparisteel windows at the front of the room, surrounded by monitors that constantly beeped out updates. Before him, outside the windows, the battle raged on.

They had been on their way to a neutral planet to try to win them over by any means necessary, peaceful or violent. However on the way there they had been attacked by maybe two dozen Resistance fighters, which lead to the current situation.

The Resistance had surprised them, giving them an advantage, but now the battle had turned. That was all thanks to Hux. Nothing bypassed his watchful, burning eyes. Sometimes he even seemed to foretell the future and respond before the Resistance had a chance to begin an offence.

An explosion made the _Finalizer_ shake and everyone except for Hux stumbled. He only ordered a counterattack and soon another explosion lit up space, but this time it was the Resistance that got hit. Almost half of their ships had been destroyed and they had begun withdrawing. The way Hux ruthlessly had attacked their commanders and captains had resulted in that the resistance lost almost everyone that could coordinate them early in the battle. As a result their attacks had become more frantic and it was obvious they were losing control of the situation.

Another explosion rocked the ship and Kylo almost tumbled over when the room began tilting. A display began glowing red and blaring out a warning but Hux only smiled in response. And when suddenly a third of the remaining enemy ships exploded simultaneously in a magnificent portrayal of fire and destruction Kylo understood why. The fight had only lasted for a few minutes but they had already won.

"Sir, incoming call from the Resistance", Mitaka said from his place behind the communication console. The lieutenant was even paler than normally but the smile that crossed his face when he spoke was malicious. He clearly enjoyed this.

"Bring it up on the screen", Hux commanded and pointed to one of the screens in front of him without even turning to look at the lieutenant.

"Yes, sir", Mitaka responded. He pushed a couple of buttons. "The call is coming up in a few seconds."

Kylo carefully watched Hux and moved closer to the place he was standing at to get a better view. For a moment Hux's shoulders sloped forwards and he closed his burning eyes. It was the first time since the battle begun that Kylo had seen him close them. And the first time he had seen Hux display any sort of fatigue or weakness. An expression that almost looked like pain or maybe sorrow crossed Hux's face but it was gone in an instance, replaced by complete calm. He took a deep breath and when he released it he opened his eyes again and squared his shoulders. Hux's eyes had stopped burning and had instead turned to ice. A moment later a Mon Calamari appeared on the screen. Kylo recognised him from another life.

"I'm Admiral Ackbar of the Resistance", the Mon Calamari said and glared at them with his big eyes located on the side of his face. When his eyes reached Kylo they widened slightly but other than that he showed no sign of recognising him.

"I'm General Hux of the First Order", Hux replied with a vicious glimmer in his cold eyes. "And I accept your surrender."

Ackbar sputtered something inaudible but probably offensive. "I'm not calling to surrender, I'm calling to negotiate the terms of a truce", he muttered and glared at Hux.

"Denied", Hux said coldly. "You should be grateful that I accepted to talk to you at all. I could blow every single one of you to pieces. Surrender or flee, scum, I don't care, but we both know that that is your only options." Not a single emotion coloured Hux voice and his face was completely expressionless. Somehow that made the threat sound even worse, like Hux considered killing Resistance fighters as boring and insignificant as swatting a fly.

Ackbar seemed stunned and stared at Hux in clear chock. Then the call ended without either of them uttering another word.

"Sir, what do you want to do?" Unamo asked and looked up at Hux for orders.

Hux turned back to the battle outside the windows with the same coldness as he had displayed during the call with the Mon Calamari. Of the original Resistance fleet maybe a fifth remained. "Continue attacking like before, but if anyone decides to run don't pursue them", he ordered.

"Yes sir", she said and saluted.

It went exactly as Hux had predicted. A minute or two of destruction and death later several Resistance ships turned around and fled. When the _Finalizer's_ TIE-fighters didn't pursue them the rest fled too and soon all of them were gone. Except for the ones that hadn't made it.

The moment the last of the Resistances' ships disappeared into space the officers began cheering and clapping to celebrate their victory. After a quick order the TIE-fighters returned to the _Finalizer_ and the consoles battle mode were returned to normal. During all that time Hux didn't move, not even when one of the bolder officers clapped him on the shoulder when they walked past him. Instead he continued staring out the windows into the empty space before him.

Kylo studied Hux as discreetly as he could, partially out of the corner of his eye. Hux had a longing expression on his face as he stared out into the blackness of space. Kylo had never seen him express such a feeling before and couldn't help but get curious about what Hux was thinking. This of course led to a stupid decision. He decided to read Hux's mind.

During the weeks Kylo had been on the _Finalizer_ he had never before tried to read Hux's mind and suddenly he couldn't understand why he hadn't done that before. He had read hundreds of minds on the ship to learn more about the General when he could have just read his mind from the beginning. It would have saved him a lot of trouble.

Kylo's mind carefully reached out towards Hux's only to crash against a barrier. Even though the rest of the officers on the bridge lacked any sort of mental shield he was not surprised to find out that Hux had one. In fact he would have been surprised and a bit disappointed if he had found the same weakness in Hux's mind as he had found in everyone else's. Though he couldn't explain the relief he felt over the fact that Hux had a mental shield.

Kylo tried to get through Hux's mental shield and to his surprise he found that it was ratter easy to dig through. He thought that it was a bit strange since mental shields most of the time was either hard but easy to crack or soft but elastic. He had never before encountered a shield that was brittle in the way Hux's shield was.

The thought had barely crossed his mind when he reached another layer under the first, soft layer. When he hit the new layer he discovered that it was much harder than the first and almost impossible to get through. Kylo pounded at it for what could have been a few seconds or several hours without significant result. Even the hardest shield he had ever encountered before had cracked more easily than this one. Eventually he gave up and instead began searching for any cracks in Hux's mental barrier. Naturally hard shields often had self-inflicted cracks in them that a Force-user could slip through. Kylo searched against the surface of the barrier and the longer he searched the more baffled he became. Hux's mental shield was _huge_.

A long time later he was still searching without having found any cracks. He was beginning to give up completely. The enormous size of Hux's shield alone was almost enough to discourage him. Then he felt something. It was becoming warmer. It had to come from a crack in Hux's mental shield and it seemed to not be too far away. Kylo hurried towards it. He imagined it like he was running over the surface of a planet towards a canyon or crevice. The closer he came the warmer it got. Soon it was uncomfortable hot, almost burning. But he would not turn back when he was so close to maybe once and for all discover what exactly Hux was.

Kylo's searching mind stopped short when he finally reached the crack. He felt stunned at what he had found. It was like looking for a crevice and finding a volcano instead. An active volcano. Kylo stared into the flaming pit that led into the inside of Hux mind and hesitated. Then he dove right into it.

Fire. Fire everywhere.

A burning pain erupted in Kylo's head. He yelled in pain as his mind burned. Never before in his life had he been in such pain. He crawled out of Hux's mind as fast as he could and searched for the safety inside his own head. However even behind his mental shields the burning continued. Blissfully enough Kylo soon passed out from the pain and he accepted the darkness of unconsciousness with a sense of relief. The darkness was painless.

 

——————

 

Something cold and soothing was wrapped protectively around his mind, easing the pain and carefully bringing him back from the darkness. Slowly he emerged from the darkness and returned to consciousness. The pain had disappeared and when his mind became clearer the soothing coldness vanished.

When Kylo finally opened his eyes again he found himself staring into the fiery pits that were General Hux's eyes. He froze in fear and closed his eyes in anticipation for the pain to begin again. But nothing happened. After a few seconds Kylo opened his eyes again. This time Hux's eyes were blue.

"Don't ever do that again", Hux growled and looked down at him with steel in his blue eyes.

"I-I w-won't", Kylo stammered and that was the truth. He would never dare to try to read Hux's mind again.  

"Good, now get back on your feet", Hux commanded and stepped away from Kylo.

Kylo sat up on the floor and when he did his head began spinning, but he was pleasantly surprised to discover that he didn't have a headache. After a moment to let his head adjust to the movement he managed to rise to his feet with a nearby console as support. His legs were weak and barely managed to support him but he stayed upright. Then he realised that he didn't have his helmet on. He looked around in confusion until he spotted it at the floor by Hux's feet. Kylo blinked once and then used the Force to bring the helmet to him.

A gasp made him look up from the helmet and Kylo realised that he still was on the bridge and that he was surrounded by officers that were all staring at him. He felt his cheeks get warm and hurriedly put his helmet back on. Not only had every person in the room witnessed him fainting, they had also seen his face.

Hux continued to stare at him when his eyes suddenly began burning again. Kylo took a step back in fear, though he hadn't needed to be afraid. General Hux turned towards the other people in the room and fixated them with his fiery eyes. One by one the officer's gazes turned blank and they stared out into nothing for a second or two before returning to normal. And when they did they immediately began working again.

Kylo leaned against the console for a few minutes to try to calm himself. All the while the officers continued working and Hux walked amongst them as if nothing had happened. He didn't look at Kylo again and his eyes remained a cold, blue colour.

The communication console beeped and Mitaka turned towards Hux. "General Hux, the Supreme Leader demands an audience with you and Lord Ren", he said.

Hux's head immediately turned towards the poor man and emotions replaced each other in his eyes so fast that Kylo couldn't read them. "Are you sure he said both me and Lord Ren?" He questioned.

"Y-yes, sir, and the Supreme Leader seemed quite determined about that. He said 'No excuses this time', sir", Mitaka stammered and got even paler under Hux's intense gaze.

"Alright then, tell him that we will meet with him shortly", Hux ordered. "You have the bridge, Mitaka", Hux said as he began stalking out of the bridge.

He stopped next to Kylo and stared him down. "Are you coming or not?" he barked.

"Y-yes", Kylo immediately responded and hurried after Hux on legs that still were a bit wobbly. Together they stepped out into the corridor.

 

——————

 

Hux's POV

Hux had known that this day would come but he was still unprepared. During the month Kylo Ren had been on the _Finalizer_ Hux had made sure that he didn't speak to Snoke. Now he could do nothing to prevent it. He had no more excuses and Snoke wouldn't accept any even if he did. Now he could only hope that Kylo wouldn't give anything away.

Side by side they entered the conference room that was used as a holochamber. Thankfully Snoke hadn't shown up yet. Hux needed the extra time to collect himself, to make sure that nothing slipped through his shield. Only minutes ago Kylo had found a crack in his shield and he couldn't let Snoke find it. And he needed to make sure that the fire in his heart would stay there. If it burst through his eyes in front of Snoke it wouldn't matter if Kylo kept quiet or not, his secret would be revealed anyway.

Hux and Kylo came to a stop before the spot were the hologram would appear. Hux looked at Kylo through the corner of his eye. Since Kylo had his mask on it was impossible for him to read his expression. Although a slight tension in his shoulders suggested that Kylo was nervous too.

There was a glimmer of light and then Snoke appeared. He towered over them, but only slightly since the holochamber on the _Finalizer_ was not as big as the one on Starkiller Base. Snoke was dressed in a grey robe and sat on a stone throne. His skin was pale and his face deformed with large scars covering it. Hux stopped an expression of disgust from showing on his face and instead bowed his head in what would be interpretable as respect. Beside him Ren did the same.

"Kylo Ren, so you finally decide to show up", Snoke said with scorn in his voice. His voice boomed in the room and echoed of the walls. One of Hux's eyes twitched with irritation, but he quickly made it stop.

"I'm sorry master", Kylo answered and bowed again, deeper this time. "I was busy fulfilling your command."

"We'll talk more about that later", Snoke growled and turned towards Hux. "At the moment I'm more interested in the progress of Starkiller Base and the occupation of the planet Anantapar in the Anoat sector. General Hux, care to elaborate?"

"Of course, Supreme Leader", Hux said and hid the revulsion he felt over using the title. Snoke didn't earn that title. "Starkiller Base is close to completion. Only the weapon itself is still under development but is soon to be completed. If my calculations are correct it will take at least a month or two until it is ready to be fired", Hux said. Pride swelled in his breast when he thought about his work. Starkiller Base was his creation, his accomplishment.

"The occupation of the planet Anantapar in the Anoat sector however is an entirely different story. We are on our way there now but ran into complications as the Resistance attacked us. We were of course victorious, though there was one thing about the attack that made me think", Hux continued his report and furrowed his brow a bit. "Why did they defend this planet so aggressively? Especially since it was a neutral planet. Recently we have conquered 5 planets, whereof one was loyal to the new Republic and this was the first one they defended with such ferocity. This was also the first time one of the leaders of the Resistance contacted us. And said leader tried to negotiate a ceasefire. I denied the request of course. Nevertheless it still makes me wonder what they were truly defending." Hux paused and looked Snoke straight in the eyes. "I suggest that before a full attack on the planet we send out a smaller group to search the surface after anything suspicious."

Snoke clasped his hands together and leaned his chin upon them. "You are right, General", he said. "We should send a few people on a mission to the planet before the fleet reaches it." He turned towards Kylo whom had stood quietly during the time Hux had spoken. "I give this mission to you, my apprentice. Seek out the true reason the Resistance attacked and report back, without being detected."

"Your word is my law, Master", Kylo responded and bowed. It made Hux stomach turn.

"Then it's decided", Snoke hummed. "Leave us, General, I need to speak to my apprentice in private."

This was what Hux had feared. As long as he was present he could stop Kylo from saying something Hux didn't want Snoke to know. But left alone with his master there was nothing that could stop Kylo from destroying everything Hux had worked so hard for. Nothing but Kylo himself. And Hux wouldn't bet his entire life in the First Order on the man's ability to keep quiet. However there was nothing he could do other than bow and take his leave.

The doors to the room closed behind him and Hux leaned against them, suddenly fatigued. The power was no longer in his hands and all he could do was wait and hope.

 

——————

 

Kylo's POV

Kylo watched as Hux walked out of the room. He walked with all the pride of a General on his ship but there was something in his posture that made Kylo think that he was nervous. He suspected that it was because of Snoke and for some reason that made him angry at Snoke. When the doors closed behind Hux Kylo somehow felt like the world had become colder and darker.

Kylo turned back towards his Master, who sat calmly upon his throne and stared sternly at him. He quickly buried any anger he felt at his master deep inside of him before Snoke could detect it.

"Why haven't you been on any of our meetings before today, my apprentice?" Snoke asked with a thinly veiled threat in his voice.

"I apologise, Master", Kylo said and bowed deeply until the upper part of his body was almost parallel with the floor. "I have been busy executing your orders, Master."

"That is no excuse", Snoke growled.

"I didn't intend it as an excuse, Master", Kylo explained. "However, it is the truth."

Snoke leaned backwards on his throne and gave Kylo a piercing look. "We will talk about that later and discuss your punishment. Now, tell me everything that you have discovered", he commanded. He leaned forward again with great interest in his eyes. "Have General Hux shown any sign of not being loyal to me?"

Kylo's mind was racing. He didn't know how to reply. A few weeks ago he wouldn't have hesitated about telling Snoke everything he had discovered about Hux and the mind control, but under the course of the last week something had changed.

His mission on the _Finalizer_ had been clear. He was to examine the General to find out if he harboured any disloyalty towards the Supreme Leader at all. _That_ had been his mission, not what Kylo had told Hux during the beginning of the second week. If Kylo had found any other traitors aboard the _Finalizer_ that would only had been a bonus. 

Then the Presence had distracted him and for a week Kylo had been completely focused on it instead of Hux. When he finally remembered his mission and spoke to Hux he had been scared, really scared, but also intrigued. The next two weeks the fear had become stronger until it culminated in the hangar incident. However after that things had changed yet again. The last week Hux had been different. He had been respectful of Kylo and at times even friendly. Not even the times his eyes had been burning had Kylo felt any threat towards himself. The only exception was the incident today, though that had been Kylo's own fault. He shouldn't have tried reading Hux's mind.

Kylo looked up at Snoke and tried to decide what he should say when suddenly he remembered a forgotten memory.

It came from the end of his second week onboard the _Finalizer_ and he had been on the bridge to read the crew's minds after any evidence that General Hux's burning eyes hadn't only been created by his own imagination. He had discovered that it weren't and that every single officer on the bridge had seen the eyes. Furthermore he had discovered that the natural defences that surrounded all sentient beings' minds had been destroyed. Kylo had been so afraid that he had run all the way back to his quarters.

_His body was shaking and his heart was pounding. Sweat ran down his back and the air inside the helmet seemed suffocating. I have to get out of here, went through his mind. Without another thought Kylo came into a sprint and ran straight towards the doors. He didn't care about the surprised gasps of the crew behind him or who were able to see how scared he was. Before he left the bridge he looked over his shoulder one last time. General Hux had turned from the viewport and was staring directly at Kylo. His eyes were two pits of fire. And even while Kylo was staring directly into them his mind tried to make him believe that he only imagined it. That it wasn't real. Something that only made the panic he felt intensify._

_Even when he had left the bridge and General Hux's burning eyes far behind him he couldn't stop running. Stormtroopers and officers had to jump out of his way because he barely noticed their existence. Kylo ran through the corridors of the_ Finalizer _as a madman until he reached his own quarters. He didn't even stop to punch in the pin code. Kylo simply forced the doors open with the Force. Inside and with the doors locked he tore his helmet from his head and fell to his knees, breathing heavily while his body shook._

_After a couple of minutes his body stopped shaking and his heart began beating a more normal rhythm. He had calmed down enough to be able to think again._

I need to tell Snoke, _was the first thought that popped up in Kylo's mind._

_There was a sharp pain in the back of his head as if something had carved into it, but before Kylo had the chance to scream the pain disappeared. In its place a feeling of foolishness flooded through him. With it every single one of his independent thoughts disappeared_.

_Kylo didn't need to tell Snoke anything because nothing had happened. He had only overreacted. There was nothing to be frightened of. Kylo simply had an overactive imagination._ There was no need to tell the Supreme Leader anything.

_Suddenly Kylo felt calm, numb even, and he began undressing. A nice, warm shower would help clear his mind. And how the Force had he gotten this sweaty? It was disgusting. Whistling a cheerful melody Kylo got into the shower and began cleaning himself._

The fear he had felt at that moment spread through his body and made his heart beat rapidly. In fact he became even more afraid than he had been then when he realised that his mind had been altered with that time. He had wanted to tell Snoke _everything_ then but something had stopped him and made him forget his fear. What he had feared at the moment – that his own mind could be altered with – had happened. He also remembered thinking that he hoped that his memories would return before it was too late.

Kylo looked up at Snoke whom impatiently waited for him to speak. So far it weren't too late. Now he had the chance to tell everything and no one would be able to stop him from doing so. And when the truth was out Snoke would probably demand that Kylo left the _Finalizer_ to return to him. Kylo would be safe.

Though was that what he wanted?

_Don't be stupid_ , Kylo told himself. _Tell him,_ now _, and you will get out of here_. _Isn't that what you wanted from the moment you learned about this mission? Now you have your chance._

Kylo Ren stared his Master in the face and told him the truth.

 

——————

 

Hux's POV

Anxiety made his insides boil restlessly. _What is taking so long? What are Kylo telling Snoke? What has he discovered?_

Hux forced himself to breath slowly and keep the fires deep inside of him. It would do him no good to lose control of himself right now. He needed to stay cold and collected.

The doors to the conference room opened and Hux jumped in surprise. His cheeks became a bit hot but he immediately forced the warmth away from his face and he did it right on time. A moment later Kylo walked out of the holochamber. His helmet made it impossible to tell what he was thinking and his posture didn't give anything away. Hux clenched his fists so that his fingers bore into his palms. His face however remained composed and he forced his eyes to remain blue.

"What did you talk about?" Hux couldn't stop himself from asking but he tried to not sound interested in the response. He had a feeling it didn't succeed.

"He wanted to know if anyone harboured treacherous thoughts towards the First Order", Kylo said with a strange and unsettling calm. And with the damn voice modulator it was impossible to tell anything from the tone of his voice.

"... And what did you tell him?" If his heart had been made of muscles and blood it would have been pounding right now.

Kylo turned completely towards Hux and something like a grunt of pain left the voice modulator as he did so. Hux's throat tightened. If he had been hurt... "I told him the truth. No one on this ship is disloyal towards the First Order."

Hux breathed in relief but didn't let anything show on his face. He had thought ... it didn't matter what he had thought. Kylo hadn't told Snoke anything.

"I will call for a meeting about the upcoming mission. You should be there", he said with as much poise he could muster and at the moment it was pathetically little.

"Then I will be there", Kylo replied calmly.

 They stared at each other for a few seconds before Hux abruptly turned his back towards Kylo and stalked away towards the bridge. Kylo stood and stared after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this it is only three chapters left in the first part of the series. I haven't yet decided what it will be called, which is why I haven't made it a series yet. Though i think that there will be at least four parts in the series.


	8. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo travels to the planet Anantapar to discover what the Resistance is looking for. He learns more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to publish this chapter. I haven't had the time lately to write and when I have, I have written on an original story instead.
> 
> Edited 28th November 2017

Kylo and Hux stood side by side in hangar C-2, the hangar where everything had begun. Stormtroopers and officers stood around them. The former was ready to board the shuttle that would transport them to the surface of the planet Anantapar, while the later oversaw the procedure.

The shuttle was an incognito thing without the ordinary First Order insignia and would be able to melt into the traffic on the neutral world without problem. The stormtroopers that was assigned to the mission wore civilian clothes and the same did Kylo. The clothes reminded him of the ones Ben’s father used to wear. He didn’t like them or the fact that he couldn’t wear his mask.

Soon all the stormtroopers had boarded the ship and it was time to leave. Kylo strode into the ship and turned around to stare back towards Hux.

Kylo felt ... He didn't know how he felt. Strange was maybe the best description.

For little over a month had he been living on the _Finalizer_ and now he would leave her for an indefinitely time. And at the same time would he be leaving Hux, which made him feel even more conflicted.

Kylo continued to stare at Hux. The General's face didn't reveal anything; it was completely expressionless. Not even his eyes revealed anything today and that unnerved Kylo more than anything else. Hux's eyes were usually never truly calm. They went from one extreme end to another. They were made of fire and ice. They weren't meant to be calm, but today they were. Today Hux's eyes were a calm blue pond, and not the pale blue of ice. They were beautiful. _Hux_ was beautiful and Kylo didn't know how to feel about that.

Kylo opened his mouth to talk but no words managed to leave his mouth. So without any word for goodbye Kylo turned his back to Hux and stepped further into the shuttle. When the ramp closed behind him with a muffled thud he felt trapped.

Not being able to bear the staring from the 'troopers, Kylo fled to one of the small bunks in the shuttle. He sat down cross-legged on the bed and tried to meditate, but to no avail. Because for every second that went by they got further from the _Finalizer_ and the farer they got from it the more empty and cold Kylo felt. When they eventually entered hyperspace it felt like a punch to the guts. Kylo curled in on himself and concentrated on breathing.

——————

 

Kylo's POV, two hours later.

 

The shuttle shook when they landed in one of the spaceports by the capital city on the planet Anantapar. Kylo and two of the stormtroopers stood ready to exit the shuttle. The remaining stormtrooper would stay on the ship and pretend to make reparations on it. Kylo and the two with him would pretend to be smugglers and try to get the information the First Order needed. If the mission took longer than expected or something unforeseen happened the remaining stormtrooper would help search too.

Kylo walked out of the shuttle. Outside an official looking person stood and waited for him. Kylo recognised them. Not that he had ever seen the alien before, he just knew the type. He had seen many like them on his travels with his – no, Ben's – father. Greedy custom officers that would look the other way if you bribed them. They actually got more suspicious if you _didn't_ bribe them. So after an exchange of some credits the alien looked satisfied and Kylo and the others could get on with their day.

The first thing Kylo did was find a reasonable priced hotel to use as his base of operation. He had gotten a great amount of credits to use on the mission and could have slept in one of the more prestigious hotels. But a common smuggler would never have had the money for that and it only would have made him look even more suspicious if he stayed in such a place. Not that the hotel he had chosen was bad. It had comfortable beds and fairly large rooms for them to sleep in. It would work. He could live with the musty smell.

After having unpacked some of their things so it would look like they were there to stay for a bit, he and the two stormtroopers with him searched after a cantina. Cantinas were always the best place to begin searching, another tip Ben's father had given him. In cantinas all of the low life got together and it was always them that knew the best gossip. The alcohol also helped to get information out of people. It was also the place a smuggler was expected to go to while on a planet.

Kylo entered a darkly lit cantina full of drunken aliens and humans, most of them smugglers. The volume was loud and the darkness made it hard to make out faces. It looked almost exactly like all other cantinas he had been in before.

Kylo made his way towards the bardisk while the stormtroopers went elsewhere. He ordered a drink and sat down next to a scruffy looking older man. They talked for a few moments and then Kylo bought him a drink. Soon the old man had begun talking openly with him, and so Kylo's mission begun.

 

——————

 

5 days later

 

No luck whatsoever. Kylo had been to every cantina in the more shady parts of the capital and so far nothing of use had surfaced. As far as the smugglers and the other low life was concerned neither the Resistance nor the First Order had shown any interest in the planet Anantapar at all. This was frankly not true. Both First Order and Resistance ships had been in the area before Kylo begun his mission. They wouldn't have just disappeared. And a ship as big as the _Finalizer_ would not go unnoticed, even if they tried to kill every non First Order ship that came close.

This meant that either the smugglers was unaware about the situation – which was even less plausible considering knowing these kinds of things could mean the difference between life and death for smugglers – or they hid something from Kylo. If the latter was true that meant bad news for Kylo. It meant that the smugglers to some extent knew who he was and that they obviously weren't on his side.

Kylo had tried reading a few minds but even when they were drunk most sentient being had really strong shields around their minds. It was a huge difference between reading the minds of the crew without their shields and the minds of someone with a shield. First of it took time to get through a shield and most of the people on a cantina were only there for a short time before going elsewhere. Secondly if he had to break through a shield with force the person would notice it and probably flee before Kylo managed to get through. Lastly if he did try to break through any shields his identity as a Force-user would be exposed.

Kylo was becoming increasingly desperate. He couldn't return to the _Finalizer_ without any information. He was willing to do almost anything to get the info he needed. So he did something he so far had avoided. He went to one of the businesses owned by the underworld.

 

——————

 

In many ways the room was much fancier than any of the more "respected" places he had been to. The liquor was more expensive. The bar stools had seats of real velvet instead of some cheaper synthetic material. There was several private boots one could hire that had luxurious sofas also made of velvet. The walls were decorated with expensive paintings. On a stage in the front of the room beautiful, nearly naked slaves of all genders and species danced. Of all the places one could find information here one was most likely to find it, for the right price of course.

Kylo had gone alone. None of the stormtroopers would have been able to blend in here and none of them would have had a chance to survive the night. Places like this one had been one of the few places Han Solo hadn't dared take Ben to. He had been forced to learn how to act in one of these places on his own. 

To blend in he had dressed in the fashion of the underworld of the planet. The clothes reminded him of the suits that people used to wear on the parties Ben's mother attended many years ago, expect that they would have caused a scandal if worn on such a occasion. His clothes were all black. The overcoat was a bit oversized and reached down to his knees. But it was open in the front revealing the clothes he wore under it. If they could be called clothes. Under the coat he wore a dress shirt that except for the collar and a streak down the front was made completely by a lacy see-through material. Under the shirt he wore a pair of matching shorts with a darker part over the crotch for decency. He had a black belt with gold details and knee-high black boots that almost looked like his usual boots. And lastly he wore a lacy mask that covered the upper part of his face, which granted him anonymously while making it possible for him to see. It was far from the strangest clothes he had worn on a mission.

Kylo sat on a sofa by the stage and looked up towards the slaves. He had a drink in one hand and some credits in the other that he threw towards the slaves once in awhile. For two hours had he been sitting here and so far nothing had happened. That was both good and bad news. It meant the people in here weren't ready to kill him yet but at the same time he wouldn't get any information this way.

An hour later a handsome, black man with silver streaks in his dark hair and wrinkles at the corners of his eyes sat down next to him. He was dressed in similarly looking clothes as Kylo except for the fact that they were lime green and actually a bit less covering and he didn't wear a mask. The man sat in silence for a while and studied the dancers on the stage while he drank from a glass filled with a dark liquid. Kylo decided to play along and did the same.

"You're not welcome here", the man said with hostility after about 10 minutes of silence. He didn't look at Kylo but he still knew that the man meant him.

_Finally_ , he thought. "Is that so", Kylo replied and continued to stare at the dancers in front of him. They didn't deserve the attention but he wanted to appear nonchalant so he tossed a credit to one of them. The credit disappeared into the minimal clothing they wore without them stopping their dance for a second.

"We don't like your kind here", the man growled and glared at Kylo.

"And what kind is that?" He asked and calmly met the other man's gaze.

"Don't play stupid. We both know you're from the First Order."

Kylo's heart jumped in his chest. No one was supposed to know that. Any hope that the other man had just guessed disappeared when he saw the steel in his eyes. "How did you find out?" He demanded to know. 

"It was those followers of yours that revealed it. Your act was pretty convincing but it is obvious for anyone with eyes and a brain that your followers are stormtroopers. And since you were in their company you have to be First Order too. And we don't like the First Order", the man spit out.

"I ... is that why no one has answered any of my questions? Because they knew I was from the First Order?" Kylo questioned. Anger boiled in his stomach. He had not wanted to bring any stormtroopers with him on the mission because he knew that they would not blend in. But the highest ranking officers had insisted and when Hux agreed with them was he not able to do anything to stop it.

"Yes, that's right. We are the unofficial rulers of this city and everyone knows that our sympathies are with the Resistance. No one who comes to the city dares to go against us. The only reason you and your followers haven't already been killed is because you have kept to the 'finer' establishments and we don't want to upset the officials too much by killing anyone there. But now you have walked right into the lion's den and you're not leaving it alive."

Kylo looked around the room and saw several humans and aliens staring towards him, slowly reaching under tables or under clothes to retrieve weapons. Blasters were aimed at him and short range weapons were hold firmly in fists. They were only waiting for the order to attack. And all the while the slaves just continued to dance as if nothing strange was happening.

"You're choosing the Republic over us?" Kylo questioned. "Why?"

"The answer is simple. When one of our ships gets captured by the Republic or Resistance our men get put in prison and our goods get confiscated. However when the First Order captures one of our ships they take our goods and kill our men. For us the choice is obvious."

Kylo came to the realisation that there was no way he could talk his way out of this. Not that he really wanted that. The last five days been frustrating and now a change to release some of that pent up frustration had presented itself. And if he played his cards right maybe he had received a change to get some answers.

"Since the outcome of this encounter is obvious", Kylo said and looked pointedly around the room, "then maybe you would consider fulfilling a man's last wish by answering some of his questions?"

The man seemed to consider this for a moment before he slowly nodded. "Alright, I guess it won't harm anyone to answer a dead man's questions."

Kylo suppressed a smirk. "Why is the Resistance here? What are they looking for?"

The man didn't bother to hide his own smirk. "They are looking for a map", he answered with confidence. He seemed almost proud to know this thing.

"A map? Leading where?" Kylo questioned.

The man lowered his voice and looked around the room as if he was about to reveal some huge secret. Kylo unconsciously leaned towards him a bit. "A map leading to the Jedi Master Luke Skywalker."

Kylo's heart skipped a beat and his breath hitched. If this was true... "There's a map leading to Luke Skywalker here on Anantapar?"

The man scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Of course not moron. However there's someone here that knows where it is."

"Do _you_ know where the map is?" Kylo asked and stared intensely at the man.

"Of course I do. It is after all my job to know things", the man bragged and Kylo almost felt like laughing. He had tried figuring out what the Resistance was fighting so hard to protect only for this man to reveal it because he wanted to brag.  

"Then where is it?"

"If you tell me why the First Order is so interested in this map then I will tell you where it is." The man smirked again, probably thinking he would get some useful, sensitive information he could sell to the Resistance. And he could even keep his end of the bargain without causing any harm to the Resistance and Republic because he was certain that Kylo wouldn't leave the room alive.

Kylo contemplated if he should tell this man why or not, but came to the conclusion that it was worth sharing the information with the stranger if it meant he would get what he wanted. Beside Kylo was certain that it didn't matter what he told the man because he would be dead the moment Kylo had gotten the information he needed.

"There is this man in the First Order, a Force user called Kylo Ren, though he is better known under the name Jedi Killer ", Kylo said and lowered his voice so that none of the other people in the room would hear him. "That man has searched for the Jedi Luke Skywalker for many years without any luck. So the spies of the First Order have orders to get all the information about him that they can find. And even though I will never be able to give this information to Lord Ren I feel it's my duty to find out as much about this map as I possibly can before I die."

The man sat quiet for a few minutes. "How do I know that you are telling the truth?"

"I have no reason to lie to you", Kylo said. And it was true. He hadn't lied to the man, only told the truth from a certain perspective. "Now give me what I want. Tell me where the map to Skywalker is."

"Fine", the man said and frowned. "The last thing I heard was that someone on Jakku had it. But that's all I know."

Kylo couldn't stop the smirk from reaching his lips. He had won. For years had he been searching after his former master and now he was one step closer to finding him. And killing him.

"Why are you smiling for, idiot?" The man snarled. "There is no way this info will reach the First Order. You will die and your mission will die with you.

Kylo's hand moved towards the lightsaber hidden under his oversized suit jacket. "I'm smiling because", he paused and his smirk became wider until it was more a display of teeth than a smile, "I am Kylo Ren."

A sneer began spreading over the man's face; he obviously didn't believe Kylo. But before it had formed completely Kylo whipped his lightsaber from under the suit and ignited it. The red flame pierced the man's chest. The smile was replaced by a look of surprise and pain. The life faded from the man's eyes and a moment later was he dead.

Yells of anger filled the room and in a second multiple blaster shots were flying towards Kylo. With a wave of his hand he made them change direction and the blasts moved past him without hurting him. Instead they hit the screaming slaves as they tried to escape.

Kylo moved towards the chocked shooters and with a single stroke with his lightsaber sliced one of them in half. The act seemed to awaken the others from their chock and once again the room was filled with blaster shots.

Kylo let his instincts take over and he moved with all the deadly grace and power of a hunting predator. One after the other his opponents died with his lightsaber through their bodies. He laughed from the thrill of it all. Few things were as marvellous as the sound of screams and the smell of burnt flesh from the wounds his lightsaber caused. Death was beautiful and he was a faithful suitor of her.

Suddenly pain flooded through his body when a blaster shot pierced him in the stomach. Kylo stumbled and gasped from the pain but immediately was on the move again, continuing to cut down his opponents. Then another blaster shot hit him in the back and he screamed in rage and pain. Another bolt hit him and another but he continued to move and kill even though the pain was making his vision blurred. Kylo knew that if he let his wounds stop him he would die. His enemies wouldn't stop to try to kill him only because he no longer had the strength to fight. Rather they would only use his helplessness to kill him. He had to kill them first.

Kylo managed to kill three more of his opponents before his wounds begun to really wear at him. His vision began to darken and he knew that he was losing consciousness. And four of his enemies were still alive. Another blaster shot hit him, this time in the leg, and he stumbled and fell to his knees. This time he didn't manage to get up again. Kylo roared in frustration and pain. His blood stained his clothes and the floor around him. The lightsaber was too heavy for him to lift again so instead it hit the ground with a thud.

His opponents exchanged looks when Kylo didn't get back up at his feet. One of them snickered. As one they moved forward with their blasters pointed at him.

One of them, an alien of a species Kylo didn't' recognise, pointed their weapon at Kylo's head. Kylo closed his eyes. His body was spent and he did not have the strength to use the Force. He clenched his fists and lowered his head. This was where he would die.

A blaster was pressed against his forehead. Kylo thought about a pair of eyes that changed colour.  

A wave of heat erupted around him. He could hear screams of pain and terror and the crackle of fire as well as a roar full of fury. Then everything went quiet except for the crackle of fire. Slowly Kylo opened his eyes. He recoiled in surprise at the sight of the burnt room. Of the furniture there were only piles of ash left and of the humans and aliens there was even less remaining.

When Kylo saw a figure made of fire move towards him he became sure that he had died and woken up in hell. The Creature made of fire stopped before him and the heat their body radiated made Kylo's skin scorch. Their eyes interlocked.

Kylo's field of vision rapidly darkened and he could feel his consciousness escape him. The floor moved upwards to catch him and the world disappeared.

 

 

 Kylo's mask

Kylo's clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will only be two more chapters on the first part of the series.
> 
> I have finally named the series.


	9. ... And Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wakes up in a medcenter on Starkiller Base. Hux is there and he is not pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update. School has been hell.
> 
> Edited 6th December 2017

Kylo awoke slowly to the sound of buzzing machines. His mind was foggy and it was hard to think. Bit by bit he became aware that he was laying down on something soft and that he felt warm and comfortable. Slowly he opened his eyes.

The room was dim, but Kylo immediately knew that he were in a place he had never been in before. His heartbeat speed up and in response a beeping noise became louder and more frequent. He turned his head towards the noise and saw a heart monitor. Kylo looked around the room and saw more health monitor machines and came to the conclusion that he were in a medcenter. There were a couple of windows in the room, but they were covered with curtains, making it impossible to look out. The room was identical with every other medbay room he had been in. He couldn't even tell if he still was on the planet Anantapar or somewhere else.  As far as he knew he could be on the other side of the galaxy.

Kylo moved to sit up but groaned and fell backwards on the bed when pain flooded through his body. It felt like his whole body was burning. The pain made his mind sharpen and the fog disappeared. Memories of how he had gotten hurt in the first place surfaced. Kylo remembered the mafia members, the fight and the things he had learned. He remembered thinking that he was going to die even before the Creature made of fire came and brought hell with it.

The beeping from the heart monitor became louder and sweat began trickling down his forehead at the same time as it felt like he had swallowed a desert. He had no idea where he was and he had no idea what had happened to him after he had passed out.

"Am I dead?" He asked himself out loud with a voice that was hoarse and barely audible.

"Not yet, though it was a close call", a voice from the shadows responded.

The noise made him flinch and when the movement pulled at his wounds a pathetic, pained whine escaped his mouth. He would have been embarrassed if he hadn't been so afraid.

Kylo turned his head towards a dark corner of the room and saw something move. In the darkness he couldn't make out who it was and his heartbeat became even more erratic. Then two fires began burning and Kylo saw two eyes made of fire staring back at him from the darkness. For a moment he thought it was the Creature made of fire and the panic threatened to choke him. Then the dark form stepped into a patch of light coming from one of the windows and Kylo suddenly recognised Hux. Relief flooded throughout his body. That surprised him a bit. He had never thought he would be revealed to see the General.

"Where am I?" he asked and pulled the blanket towards his chin, he wanted to hide from Hux's gaze. Especially since he was naked except for the bandages that kept the bacta patches in place. "How did I get here?"

"You are in a medcenter on Starkiller base", Hux answered and moved closer to the bed. His tone was sharp, as if he tried to contain anger. His posture was stiffer than usual and his hands were formed into fists. "The moment the tracker I had placed on you before the mission sent a distress signal that you were injured, I sent a team to retrieve you. They found you unconscious and severely injured in a burnt room."

Kylo swallowed down bile at the memory of the piles of ash that was everything that had remained of the living beings that had been in the room with him. "How long have I been unconscious for?"

"Three days", Hux replied and his voice was even sharper than before. His eyes flashed and the room became a bit warmer as a result.

"Three days!" Kylo exclaimed and tried to sit up again, but the pain was still too great. Kylo fell back against the pillows with a pained grimace and another whine. "I have to get up right now!"

Hux's eyes began burning even brighter. "So that you'll get hurt and almost die again?!" He yelled and the noise made Kylo flinch. "The doctors have had enough trouble keeping you alive as it is and you want to get out there again?! You're mad if you think I'll allow that!"

Kylo tried to protest and tell Hux about the time sensitive info he had gathered, but weren't able to say a single word before Hux's rambling interrupted him again. His eyes began burning even brighter and the room became hotter. Sweat began trickle down Kylo's back, both from the heat and the fear he felt. The heart monitor beeped like crazy. It was odd that no one had rushed into the room to check on him yet.

"You could have died!" Hux roared and a wave of heat hit him like a wall. Kylo could hear a faint crackle of fire and smell a faint trace of smoke in the air. Hux was red in the face and his hair moved on its own accord, almost in the same motion of a fire. His face was twisted into an expression of rage and something burning hot and _huge_ was pressing against Kylo's mind, forcing him to raise his mental shields.

Kylo was afraid. More afraid than when the Creature made of fire had walked towards him and more afraid than any of the times he had faced Hux's rage before. Because this time Hux's rage seemed out of his control. Another blast of heat surged over him and Kylo knew that he had to say something to calm Hux down or something bad was going happen. It was already so hot in the room that Kylo felt faint.

Kylo began to say 'let's calm down' but had barely begun saying it when he tried to change it to 'Hux, calm down'. The result was a mix of the two sentences. 

"L-ux, calm down", escaped Kylo's mouth. 

The burning heat was immediately gone and the only sign that it had ever existed was the sweat still pouring from every pore on his body. The sound of fire and the smell of smoke disappeared without a trace and only remained in his memory. Instead he could feel a slight breeze that cooled down his overheated skin and brought with it the sound of birds singing and water flowing over rocks. There was even the faint smell of grass and flowers. And the warmth was that of the sun on a spring day. The room even seemed lighter than before.

Together it awoke a memory that Kylo thought had been long repressed and forgotten.

_The grass Kylo rested upon was soft and smelled sweet. The sky was a deep blue colour without a single cloud in sight and the sun was a bright, yellow circle that warmed his skin. Birds chirped happily from the forest behind him and the wind ruffled the leaves. Water rippled from somewhere close and laughter filled the air._

_His Mother, Father and Uncles Luke and Chewie sat a short distance from him and it was from them the laughter originated. When he looked at them he saw that his mother currently was busy braiding flowers into Chewie's pelt and couldn't help laugh too._

_He felt peaceful and there was a warm, light feeling in his heart. The world was beautiful around him, his family was happy and the dark voice in his mind was silent for the moment. Right now everything was perfect._

With effort Kylo broke away from the memory and tried to repress it and the happy feelings it made him feel again, before it could make him miss the life he had abandoned. Ben was dead.

Then he looked up only to see something much more extraordinarily. 

Hux's face had completely changed. The anger had disappeared from it and had been replaced by a look of surprise and astonishment. His expression was completely unguarded and he looked almost vulnerable. The surprise slowly softened into a feeling that Kylo would have called loving and tender on any other face than Hux's. The red on his cheeks now looked like a soft blush and his hair only moved when the breeze ruffled the delicate, bright strands. Hux was already breathtakingly beautiful when Kylo noticed something else. Something much more amazing than any of the other things.                            

A moment earlier Hux's eyes had been two pits of fire, but not anymore. However they weren't ice blue stones either. They weren't even the calm, blue ponds they had been the day Kylo left for the mission. Instead they were a deep, vibrant green that shone brighter than a thousand suns. In Hux's green eyes Kylo thought that he could see all of the life, light and love in the whole universe. 

Hux was the most beautiful being Kylo had ever seen and the light he had suppressed in his heart responded to Hux by shining so brightly the darkness that surrounded it was almost eradicated. In that moment nothing in the whole universe mattered to Kylo except for Hux and his celestial eyes.

"What did you say?" Hux asked with a voice bursting with strong emotions and eyes full of hope and light.

Kylo swallowed and it felt like his heart was stuck in his throat. It was still beating like crazy, but for a different reason now. He almost didn't want to speak in case his voice would break the wonderful spell in the room. "I-I said 'Hux, calm down'."

The hope immediately died in his eyes and Hux's face dropped. It was as if a wall that had been temporarily lowered to show his true self had moved back up to hide him. The vulnerable look and all the light and tender feelings were gone and the usual guarded expression was back. And the eyes that the moment before had been the most beautiful colour Kylo had ever seen; the vibrant green colour of Life, became the hardest and coldest blue he had ever seen instead. The room got several degrees colder and darker.

"That's what I thought", Hux said in a harsh tone. 

If it hadn't been for the new warmth in his chest and for the fact that the memory of Hux's green eyes was forever burnt into his memory, Kylo would have questioned if any of that had really happened. It had only lasted for a short moment and nothing about Hux indicated that it had happened, but he couldn't forget it nor did he ever want to. Kylo had no idea what it was that had caused the change in Hux. All he knew was that he would give everything, even his own life, to see those green eyes again. 

"You tried to say something before", Hux reminded him with a cold tone to his voice. "Was it something about the mission?"

Kylo was speechless and fought desperately with his own brain to regain control of himself and answer the question. _This is important_ , he told himself. Although at the same time he couldn't find any interest in anything beside the memory of green eyes. With a great effort he focused on the mission instead.

"Ah – yes I did. I discovered that the Resistance was looking for a map that leads to Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi."

A bit of interest sparkled in Hux's eyes but it was immediately smothered and they regained the ice cold harshness of before. "Is that so? And where is this map?"

"I was told it's on Jakku", Kylo said and looked away from Hux. He couldn't meet those cold eyes any longer. The cold indifference was even worse than the burning anger.  

"And how do you know you weren't being tricked?"

"The man that told me this thought that I was going to die in a moment and didn't see any harm in telling me."

"I see", Hux mumbled and lowered his eyes. He seemed to debate quietly with himself. Then he looked up and met Kylo's gaze. His eyes had a dangerous glint in them. "Then I'll prepare the _Finalizer_ for the journey to Jakku. We'll leave first thing tomorrow. Make sure to get some rest before then, you'll need it."

Without another word Hux turned his back to Kylo and left the room, leaving Kylo alone in the dark and cold room with only the sound of the heart monitor and the other hospital machines to keep him company. And of course the memory of vibrant green eyes; the colour of Life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now there's only one chapter left of the first part of the series.


	10. The Presence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Presence suddenly makes a new appearance and this time Kylo is dead bent to find out where it comes from. He is however not prepared for what he finds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it finally is. The moment that inspired the whole fic. And the last chapter of the first part of the story. 
> 
> I'm sorry it has taken me such a long time to finish it but I have had some personal problems the last couple of months that has made it impossible for me to write. But here it is and I hope you will enjoy reading it.

Kylo woke up in the middle of the night, disorientated and with his head spinning. Something had awoken him but when he looked around the dark room he couldn't find anything responsible for it. Everything was quiet. The doctors had even turned of the heart monitor earlier that evening so that he could sleep. And Hux hadn't visited him again.

The doctors had made a check-up on him and changed his bandages and bacta patches. He was getting better by the hour and they had agreed to let him leave with the _Finalizer_ in the morning. Though he would have left no matter what they had said and they would not have been able to stop him if they tried. It was _his_ duty to find Skywalker, no one else.

Kylo yawned and leaned back against the pillows. He would have preferred to lie on his side but the wounds burned whenever he tried to move too much. He closed his eyes with a sigh and tried to fall asleep again. That's when he felt it again.

It flowed over him like an ocean wave, only many times stronger. And instead of being made of water it consisted purely of the Force. The wave was so powerful it threatened to wash his very being away with it. In a state of panic Kylo fought against the wave and tried to raise the shields protecting his mind. After a couple of terrifying seconds the wave disappeared, just before it would have washed him away. The shields came into place and Kylo took the moment to breathe. His whole body was drenched in sweat, his wounds ached and his heartbeat was erratic.

Kylo slowly sat up with his pulse thundering in his ears. The movement made it stretch and pull at the wounds but he ignored it. The pain was nothing compared to just a few hours earlier, when Hux had been here. He was grateful that the heart monitor was turned off since otherwise a small army of doctors would definitely be sprinting towards his room in this moment.  

Kylo was certain that something was wrong; he could feel it in his very bones. He couldn't explain the wave of power he had felt, though it did feel familiar, but he knew he had to find from what – or whom – it was coming from.

The floor was cold against his bare feet when he stood up and the air was chilly. Only then did he realise that he was completely naked except for the bandages and those did not cover much. He draped the blanket around his shoulders with a shiver. His head felt dizzy and his knees were weak but he ignored the desire to sit down again. He took a first wobbly step away from the bed and had to pause for a moment so that his head would stop spinning. Then he continued walking, one careful step after another. With the blanket wrapped around his body he began searching for clothes to wear. After a few minutes of stumbling and careful searching he found his clothes in a closet by the door and began dressing. It was difficult getting his complicated clothes on without falling to the floor but he managed it and with only minimal strain on the wounds.

He was on his way out of the door when the next wave hit him. Kylo stumbled and grabbed hold of the doorframe so as to not fall to his knees under the power of Force wave.

This time he was fully awake and able feel from which direction the Force wave was coming from. And now he knew why the wave felt so familiar. He had felt this Force presence once before, many weeks ago. So many things had happened since last time that he had almost forgotten about the whole experience, but now he had become painfully aware of it again. It was the Presence.

Fear made his stomach cleanse, his mouth go dry and made his heart flutter. However surprisingly enough he wasn't as afraid of the Presence as the first time he had encountered it. During the many weeks that had passed he had experienced so many terrifying things that the Presence didn't seem as scary as it had before. Nonetheless he knew that it was best to be extremely careful. The Presence could be hostile.

In the corridor outside his room Kylo encountered several humans and medical droids. They didn't seem to have noticed the Presence, but on the other hand none of them were Force sensitive. They did however notice him when he stumbled out of his room and began walking towards the exit. The majority of them either stared at him in confusion or backed away in fear. Though there were a couple of stupid ones that tried to stop him. Kylo shoved them away with the Force, but not with much power since otherwise the Presence could become aware of him and it was better to stay undetected as long as possible.

The Presence didn't seem as powerful as the first time he had encountered it; if it hadn't been for his weakened state the waves would barely have affected him. Also last time it hadn't flowed over him in waves, instead it had been constant, like the light from a sun. Maybe it was powering up. In that case he had to find it before it could get to its full potential.

He half ran half stumbled through the medcenter doors and into the snowy landscape outside. The wind was howling and snow covered the ground. A forest of dark, dead trees spread towards the horizon. The cold immediately found its way into his clothes despite the fact that they had been made to withstand both cold and heat. Kylo didn't stop. Instead he began making his way through the thick snow and huge forest towards the place the wave of Force had came from. Every step was a battle but one he weren't willing to lose.                                                                                                          

Another wave of Force hit him and he fell to his knees, leaning against a tree. The Force flowed over him for a couple of seconds before disappearing again. He forced his way back onto his feet with the tree as support and began walking once more. A warm liquid ran over his ribs and stuck to the fabric in his clothes and he realised that one of the wounds had opened.                                                                                      

A new Force wave hit him again and again and again with only a short pause in between for him to breath. After an hour of walking Kylo became certain that the waves was becoming more frequent and more powerful. He was coming closer to his goal and the Presence was becoming stronger. At the same time he was becoming weaker. The dizziness had become stronger and his head was constantly spinning. All of his wounds burned and the blood had begun leaking through the outer layers of his clothes. He was leaving a track of blood in his trace. He fell more often now than in the beginning and it was harder each time to get up again. The cold had turned his hands and feet into blocks of ice and removed the feeling in them. Even if he found the Presence and it turned out that it was friendly he would never be able to get back to the medbay on his own.                                       

The darkness had gradually become less deep and instead given way for a soft, warm light. A new wave of the Force slammed into him, stronger than any before it and Kylo fell to his knees. His hands were too weak to catch him so he fell face first into the snow. The wave flowed over him for several long minutes, longer than any had done ever before and for a moment Kylo feared that it would never stop. He wouldn't be able to get up until it did.

A few minutes later, just when Kylo had begun giving up, the Force wave ebbed out and disappeared. With a groan he managed to lift his head from the snow. His whole body felt numb and it was becoming hard for him to see. That's why it took him several seconds before he realised that he could see an orange light in the distance, between the trees. The light fluttered and flickered like a fire. He had to be close.

Kylo hesitated for the first time since he had woken up and began his search for the Presence. He had no idea what exactly he would be facing when he reached the Presence. The only thing he knew was that it was the most powerful thing he had ever encountered in his life. Kylo was sure that the Presence could destroy worlds and that he didn't have chance against it. Maybe it weren't such a good idea to confront it. Maybe he should just turn back and leave it alone to do whatever it wanted. Maybe he should just close his eyes and rest.

 _No!_ Kylo thought. _I am the master of the Knights of Ren, apprentice of Supreme Leader Snoke and grandson of Darth Vader. I will not run away like a coward nor will I give up!_ Nonetheless that didn't stop his heart from pounding so hard it felt like it tried to escape his ribcage.

With a deep breath he forced himself up on his knees. After a moment to catch his breath he began rising to his feet with the support of a nearby tree. The first step was the hardest since he almost fell over again and it was only with pure willpower he managed to stay upright. The second step was easier and the third step even more so. Kylo focused on putting one foot in front of the other until suddenly he had left the dark trees behind and instead stepped out onto a strip of bare ground were the snow had been melted away. He stumbled on the flat ground but managed to stay upright. With his brow wrinkled in confusion he stared on the sight before him.  

A couple of feet in front of him the ground disappeared into a huge hole that reached as far as he could see. It was as if he stared out at the end of the world. _The Starkiller weapon,_ his mind provided for him. _You're standing at the edge to the weapon._ And at the very edge Kylo found the source of the light.

In front of him was the Creature made by fire he had seen in the cantina just days before. It had its back towards him but he was sure that it was the same creature. And it was from the creature the waves of the Force came from. _The Creature was the Presence_. The warmth that radiated from it made the coldness in his body melt away and with it the dizziness in his mind disappeared. The pain in his body became stronger as in retaliation and he still felt as weak as a newborn kitten but at least his mind was sharp again.  

Then the Creature made of fire, the Presence, turned towards him. Kylo gasped before he could stop himself. The first and only time he had seen the Creature until this moment he had been severely injured and almost unconscious. He hadn't been able to get a good look of it. But now, with the new sharpness of his mind, he was actually able to _see_ it. And he recognised it.

Kylo's dark brown eyes met Hux's burning ones for only a second before he fell to his knees in awe. Now everything made sense. Why he had felt the Presence for the first time on his way to the _Finalizer_ and why it had disappeared when his gaze met Hux's for the first time. Why Hux had eyes of fire and a mind that reminded him of a sun. It even explained why the Creature made of fire had saved him. All this time it had all been Hux.

Hux stepped away from the edge and walked gracefully towards him. Whenever his feet made contact with the ground there was a hissing sound and a small cloud of smoke. Hux entire body was made of fire, a fire that sometimes dimmed and sometimes flashed brightly. Sparks was born in the fire before they were caught by the wind and carried over the edge to the weapon where they disappeared.

Hux smiled at him and when he did his entire body burned so bright Kylo had to turn his face away to protect it from the heat. The waves of Force had become steady the moment Hux turned towards him and instead felt like the constant warmth a sun emitted. And now Kylo was sure that the feeling actually was Hux's mind unshielded. Kylo felt as small and insignificant as the light a candle produced in comparison.

"What are you?" Kylo asked with a trembling voice. He was more afraid than he had ever been before in his life but at the same time he felt mesmerized by Hux's beauty and power.

"I am the Starkiller!" Hux said with a booming voice that made the ground shake under Kylo's knees. However at the same time could he hear Hux' voice as a soft whisper, as a single ray of sunlight in his mind. "I am a Sungod."

Kylo fell on his stomach before Hux. His body was no longer trembling and his heart beat steady, strongly. He was no longer afraid. Instead he felt enthralled and spellbound by Hux. However when Kylo looked up at Hux it wasn't the Creature made of fire, the Presence, the Starkiller or even the Sungod he claimed to be that inspired those feelings. Rather it was the memory of vibrant green eyes; the colour of Life, that made him feel that way. In that moment Kylo's heart belonged to Hux and the light and life he emitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of Tenebrae et Lux is finally finished. Hopefully nothing will stop me from writing for the time onwards so that I'll be able to write the first chapter of the next part 'The Starkiller'. Be on the lookout for that :). 
> 
> I also think I'm going to edit the first chapters a bit because I think my writing had evolved since I first published them and I want them to be as good as the later ones. The chapters I wrote in a hurry may also need a bit editing. But don't worry, I won't change anything major.
> 
> As always you can reach me either through the comments on this site or through my tumblr evilspaceboyfriends-trash. Otherwise I'll see you next time :D

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone would like to you can come visit me on my tumblr: evilspaceboyfriends-trash


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